What I Ate: May 22 - June 1, 2010 (or, The Temptation of a Food Addict)

Umm, so welcome back? :-)

I was on vacation last week doing the camp counselor thing at a leadership event. It was awesome, but exhausting, and a terrible, terrible place for a food addict. Immediately before that, I was in my hometown celebrating my grandmother's 90th birthday.

I started my vacation time pretty solidly. For example, here was Saturday, May 22:

• Cookie dough protein frosty
• WLS-Friendly egg beater and fat-free cheese breakfast Carbquik biscuit
• 1 100-calorie pack cocoa-roasted almonds
• Cracker Barrel meal with my grandma and family: I ordered the Grilled Steak Salad from the low-carb menu with no blue cheese and fat-free ranch. I ate the steak, 1/2 the dressing, the hard-boiled egg, and most of the tomato pieces. I also took a tiny taste of my mom's meatloaf (pretty good) and one of my sister's fried shrimp (so salty you couldn't taste the shrimp).
• Super-proteiny chocolate protein frosty
• NIGHT NOSH with mom: Several handfuls Fiber One cereal, about 3/4 handful cocoa-roasted almonds, and a LOT of peanut butter. I'd done great all day, but past midnight hanging out with my mom is a diet disaster waiting to happen!

Is this great? No - of course, the night nosh was a bad idea. But it wasn't catastrophic.

Sunday, May 23 was also okay, though I can't remember what I ate after the Flatout with peanut butter. I know there was something else, but I can't recall what it was.

• "Tan velvet" protein frosty
• WLS-friendly chicken biscuit: Carbquik paprika biscuit (90 kcals, 6g protein, 2g net carbs, 6g fat), 2 tbsp. ICBINB (10 kcals), and about 2 oz. Italian dressing-marinated chicken breast (about 80 kcals, 16g protein, 1g carb, 3g fat). Total - (180 kcals, 22g protein, 3g net carbs, 9g fat).
• 1 serving original Jack Link's beef jerky (80 kcals, 15g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat) and 1/2 original Flatout Light, toasted (45 kcals, 3.3g protein, 4.5g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (135 kcals, 18.3g protein, 7.5g net carbs, 2.8g fat)
• Chocolatey cheesecake frosty: 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese (80 kcals, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat), 2 tbsp. SF/FF cheesecake Jello pudding mix (30 kcals, 6g carbs), 1 tbsp. FF ICBINB (5 kcals), Torani SF chocolate syrup, Splenda. Total - (115 kcals, 15g protein, 11g carbs, 0g fat)
• 1/2 original Flatout Light, toasted (45 kcals, 3.3g protein, 4.5g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 1 tbsp. peanut butter (95 kcals, 4g protein, 2.5g net carbs, 8g fat) and 1 tbsp. fat-free I Can't Believe It's Not Butter (5 kcals). Total (145 kcals, 7.3g protein, 7g net carbs, 9.8g fat)

Not great; not horrendous. I also worked out with a new (to me) Leslie Sansone "Walk Slim" video.

Monday-Wednesday, May 24-26 were also acceptable. I had finally gotten to Missouri, where every meal spread includes MEGA carbs (bread, potatoes, pasta - always around), ice cream, cake, cookies, etc. I made several mistakes, but I was still relatively strong for a food addict in that environment. My main vice was tropical trail mix. I was mostly eating off the salad bar, and I was working out every morning. The scale hit 174 on both Wednesday and Thursday mornings.

Monday:

• Ungodly amount of peanut butter at 3:30/4:00 AM (pre-drive to Atlanta airport)
• Beef jerky
• 1 egg white, 1.5 tbsp. black beans, 1/2 tbsp. shredded Cheddar cheese, and 1/2 Flatout
• About Time mocha mint shake and go bottle
• Bravo Italiano: (1) mushrooms, onion, and tomato from a piece of bruschetta, (2) most of the toppings from an "insalata rustica" (pears, pancetta, dried cranberries), (3) most of a piece of bread :-(, (4) filet, shrimp, and 3 sauteed green beans
• 4-5 banana chips, 3 cashews, 2 pieces dried coconut
• 1 100-calorie pack cocoa-roasted almonds

Tuesday:

• 1 shake-and-go About Time cinnamon swirl shake (125 kcals, 31g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat) with 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 3g fat).
• About 1/2 to 3/4 cup scrambled eggs sprinkled with deli ham and a sprinkle of cheddar cheese.
• 3.5 banana chips, 3.5 cashews, and 3 dried cranberries from a bowl of tropical trail mix, then tuna, crackers.
• About 1/3 chocolate Oh Yeah! in decaf
• 1 serving original Jack Link's beef jerky, 1 100-calorie pack natural almonds, very large serving of canned, apparently unsalted green beans
• The other 2/3 of my chocolate Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees; 1 handful tropical trail mix
• 1 100-calorie pack natural almonds

Wednesday:

• About Time strawberry shake-and-go with 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (145 kcals, 31.5g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 1.5g fat).
• Huge plate of scrambled eggs and too much tropical trail mix
• Lunch: Green beans and a small salad with spinach, about 2 egg whites, black beans, olives, shredded cheddar cheese, and lite ranch dressing
• About 1/3 Lean Body chocolate ice cream protein drink in decaf coffee
• Dinner (where it all fell apart): 1/2 Flatout, small serving of kidney beans, 1 serving teriyaki beef jerky, 4 mini-tubs of peanut butter
• A few bites of ice cream
• 1 100-calorie pack cocoa-roasted almonds, sugar-free marshmallows, 1 Flatout

You see that by Wednesday's end, my resolve had already been compromised. First was a little ice cream. Then came the random binge on almonds, sugar-free marshmallows, and toasted Flatout.

By Thursday, I was too ashamed of myself to keep tracking. I know neither what I ate nor when I ate it. All I know is, by Sunday, I'd eaten LOTS of ice cream (so much I made myself sick Saturday night), vanilla cake with chocolate frosting, Reese's cups, Oreo crumbles, potato chips, peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake with graham cracker crust, and my crowning achievement, a chocolate chip pancake. Yes, you read that correctly. (All the while, I was still exercising - the only day I missed was Sunday.)

I just didn't have the strength to make it through an entire week of constant exposure to that kind of food. I couldn't skip cafeteria meal- and snack-times because I was being paid to hang out with the students and chat with them over mealtimes and late at night. So I caved - badly. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I was allowing myself to screw up because I knew the situation was only temporary. Chocolate chip pancakes and peanut butter cookies are never going to become a regular part of my repertoire.

So, I didn't beat myself up about it. I'm back on plan. I had a very, very special time in Missouri, and I won't let my food addiction and concomitant guilt sully great memories. But I also won't let the trip precipitate a downward health spiral.