Sunday, February 28, 2010

What I Ate: 2/26/2010

Catching up on days that I haven't had time to post. Here's Friday, February 26.

  • 1 piece of "Cloud Bread" - it turned out right this time! I bought a real electric mixer and it made this recipe really easy. I love it. It isn't the same as actual bread, but it definitely fulfills that craving. I made mine with fat-free cream cheese and I sprinkled garlic powder, paprika, and turmeric on top before baking them. I used a 1/3 cup measure to scoop them onto the baking sheet, and this made exactly 9 pieces. (35 kcals, 3.3g protein, 0.8g carbs, 1.7g fat)
  • About Time birthday cake shake in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk (123 kcals, 25.5g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 1.5g fat). This wasn't quite as delicious as I'd remembered. It also didn't smell as good coming out of the canister I'd ordered as it did when I opened the sample. On the other hand, it still tasted pretty good, and I realized that the cinnamon swirl shake I enjoyed so much last night is basically the birthday cake flavor with a little cinnamon added to it. So, instead of purchasing the cinnamon swirl flavor separately, I'll just mix in a pinch of cinnamon to the birthday cake flavor to add variety.
  • 1 Oh Yeah! as coffee creamer over several hours (220 kcals, 32g protein, 3g net carbs, 9g fat)
  • 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice deli turkey (50 kcals, 10g protein, 1g carbs, 1g fat).
  • 1/2 cup Fiber One twigs, sprayed with butter-flavored cooking spray and sprinkled with 1 tsp. cocoa and Truvia (65 kcals, 2g protein, 11g net carbs, 1g fat).
  • Dinner at McCrady's Restaurant in Charleston. One of my 2010 goals was to eat at this restaurant. While I'm happy to have met this goal, I unfortunately did not enjoy the food as much as expected. I nibbled on the house-cured charcuterie, the crispy pork terrine, the housemade burrata with beet salad, and the garden lettuces salad (which featured a beautiful "fried egg" that had been deep-fried in panko.) The best dish for me was the garden lettuces, and the runner-up was the charcuterie. Maybe I just chose poorly, but I wasn't at all blown away by this and wish I hadn't blown the calories on it.
  • Bunches of raw almonds and Fiber One twigs. I got home at 3 AM and I was delirious. So of course, I decided to eat - a lot. Not beating myself up. What's done is done.
No totals for 2/26; I don't know the calories on my last meal and bingefest.

Today's exercise was 50 minutes on the elliptical in the morning, and 30 minutes of weights (primarily upper body) in the evening before driving to Charleston.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Not Obese. Claiming It.

This morning, my lovely scale reported that my weight is 182.6 pounds. At 5'6.5", my current BMI is 29.0. I'm 5.9 pounds below 188.5, the weight at which someone my height has an "obese" BMI of 30.0.

It's great to see the numbers moving down again after such a long hiatus. More stalls are in my future, and I'll fluctuate up again, possibly even 5 pounds. But even so, my weight will be below the obesity line.

My weight has been below 188 in recent days/weeks, but I wasn't confident enough in the numbers to officially declare myself "overweight" (with good reason - on Tuesday morning, the scale said I was 189.) But now I'm feeling secure in this transition.

I'm overweight, y'all!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

What I Ate: 2/25/2010

I decided to bring on the regular food today. The liquid diet worked well in terms of weight loss - I was 183.5 this morning, a new low. I'm thinking I'll do regular food today, Saturday, and Sunday (maybe Monday as well.)

Tomorrow, I'm having dinner at McCrady's in Charleston and want to keep my calories low and food simple in preparation for that. Then I will do the modified liquid diet one more time, next week, in preparation for my surgical follow-up on Thursday morning, March 4. I don't plan to make these a habit, but I wanted to decarb this past week and, after seeing how it helped my weight loss, I want to try it again before the big checkup.

So, real food -

  • 1/2 Oh Yeah! vanilla creme as creamer in 2 decaf coffees. I spiked it with SF hazelnut and chocolate and it was especially yummy today. (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat).
  • 2 oz. chicken sausage pâté (63 kcals, 8g protein, 1.8g net carbs, 1.9g fat) with 1/2 spinach-flavored Flatout Light, toasted and broken into crackers (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (108 kcals, 12.5g protein, 5.1g net carbs, 3.7g fat).
  • The other 1/2 spinach Flatout Light (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice smoked turkey (50 kcals, 10g protein, 1g carbs, 1g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free American cheese (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), and a few basil leaves. Total - (120 kcals, 18.5g protein, 5.3g net carbs, 2.8g fat).
  • 1 Pure Protein frosty chocolate protein drink (170 kcals, 35g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat).
  • 5 raw almonds (35 kcals, 1.5g protein, 1g net carbs, 3g fat)
  • 3 oz. pork loin, leftover from sister/nephew's birthday dinner (140 kcals, 24g protein, 1g net carbs, 4g fat) and 63 grams asparagus (13 kcals, 1.3g protein, 1.2g net carbs, 0g fat) with 0.5 tbsp. homemade no-sugar-added barbecue sauce and a jus made with soy sauce, yuzu juice, SF DaVinci sweetening syrup, and natural rice vinegar (about 10 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (163 kcals, 25.3g protein, 4.2g net carbs, 4g fat). Soooooo delicious!
  • 1/2 cup Fiber One cereal (60 kcals, 2g protein, 11g net carbs, 1g fat), 1 oz. fat-free cream cheese creamed with Truvia (30 kcals, 4g protein, 3g carbs, 0g fat), and 5 raw almonds (35 kcals, 1.5g protein, 1g net carbs, 3g fat). Total - (125 kcals, 7.5g protein, 14g net carbs, 4g fat). This was a random combo, but I liked the idea of having something clearly snacky as I sat down to watch Celebrity Rehab.
  • 1 sample pack About Time cinnamon swirl protein powder (103 kcals, 25g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (123 kcals, 25.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). I was mega-impressed with the About Time birthday cake flavor a few weeks ago, so I decided to order a full tub of that flavor and to get two more samples. This was SO good. Another winner! I think I'm in love with this protein line: It's low-calorie, low-carb, and it's even sweetened with stevia instead of sucralose!
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage cinnamon calcium citrate lozenges (12 kcals, 3g carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate orange multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
1,021 calories
141.8g protein
55.6% kcals from protein
47.6g net carbs
18.6% kcals from net carbs
26g fat
22.9% kcals from fat.

You may have noticed that I ate something that some WLSers consider bad news during the losing phase - cereal. Fiber One, specifically.

I did this because I'm concerned about my nutritional balance. I am going to play with adding a few more carbs in the form of fiber mostly, but also some fruits and vegetables. I've heard mixed information about whether large amounts of protein cause kidney damage if the kidneys were healthy to begin with, but on some level it makes sense that an excess of any nutrient could lead to undesirable outcomes.

Also, at a good friend and reader's suggestion (thanks friend!), I'm also going to try varying my calories from day to day a bit more. Like, some days 800, maybe some days 1100, most days between 900 and 1000. I won't start this in earnest until I return from Connecticut and New York in a week and half. I think it will be too difficult to manage while traveling.

I started my day with Miles 1 and 3 of Leslie Sansone's 5 Day Slim Down, and I also did the warm-up, cool down, and stretch, which brought me to 42 minutes. That was it for today. I'd planned for Pilates, but I didn't have time to do that and get my cleaning in.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

What I Ate: 2/24/2010

Modified liquid diet, Day 3. I haven't decided whether today is the last day or not. Hmm...

I skipped yoga tonight. I'm just too busy this week. But hopefully I'll be there on Sunday.
  • 1 scoop of Nectar vanilla bean torte protein (90 kcals, 23g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (110 kcals, 23.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 1 Believe Chai Tea Latte in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1 scoop Inspire ice cream sandwich (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (146 kcals, 30.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 1.5g fat).
  • 1 scoop Isopure dutch chocolate protein in iced decaf (115 kcals, 25g protein, 2g net carbs, 1g fat).
  • Solid meal - random "carbonara": 2.75 oz. chicken breast (77 kcals, 14.4g protein, 0g carbs, 1.7g fat) with 27 grams of asparagus (6 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 0g fat), 2 oz. tofu shirataki noodles (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 0g fat), and 2 tbsp. egg substitute, which is why I'm calling this "carbonara" (15 kcals, 3g protein, 0.5g carbs, 0g fat). I seasoned this with garlic and onion powder, soy sauce, and DaVinci sweetening syrup. I'd intended to use my homemade BBQ sauce, but I can't find it! :-( This was quite a lot of food. Total - (108 kcals, 18.4g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.7g fat).
  • A few sips of a savory shake I tried. I simmered 1/4 cup pumpkin with water, soy sauce, and lots of seasonings and then I took it off the heat and mixed in 1 sample packet of chicken soup flavored Unjury protein powder. I'd never had the chicken soup Unjury, and I was curious. It tasted pretty good, but unfortunately I'd added way too much pepper to the pumpkin soup base. I sipped a few spoonfuls, but wasn't enjoying it, so I tossed it and made a sweet pumpkin shake. I'm adding 15 calories to the day for this.
  • Pumpkin shake made with 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 4.5g fat), 1/4 cup canned pumpkin (20 kcals, 1g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat), and virtually non-caloric seasonings (cinnamon, nutmeg, maple and vanilla flavoring, allspice). Total - (130 kcals, 17g protein, 3.5g net carbs, 4.5g fat).
  • 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder (127 kcals, 26g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat) and 1 tsp. Hershey's Special Dark cocoa powder (5 kcals, 0.5g net carbs). (152 kcals, 26.5g protein, 4g net carbs, 2.5g fat).
  • 1 Solgar B-Complex chewable (15 kcals, 1.8g net carbs)
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 4 Bariatric Advantage cinnamon calcium citrate lozenges (16 kcals, 4g carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
982 calories
160.9g protein
65.5% kcals from protein
34.3g net carbs
14.0% kcals from net carbs
14.2g fat
13.0% kcals from fat.

I started the day with 95 minutes of exercise: 30 minutes on the treadmill, 25 minutes of upper-body weight training, and then 40 minutes on the elliptical. I was planning to go to yoga tonight, but I need to get my house clean before Saturday and I'll be out of town on Friday. Instead, I did the warmup, cooldown, and miles 4-5 of the Leslie Sansone 5 Day Slim Down.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What I Ate: 2/23/2010

Day 2 of the modified liquid protein diet. Today was a lot better than yesterday. I guess the drive toward control is working?

In other news, I went to Ann Taylor Loft tonight and tried on a beautiful black jacket in Size 10. It looked great. If it weren't $98, I would have bought it :-) It seems that even though I haven't lost any weight in about 6 weeks, I've definitely dropped a size or two.

  • 1 Pure Protein vanilla cream ready-to-drink (RTD) shake as creamer in 3 decaf coffees (160 kcals, 35g protein, 2g carbs, 1g fat)
  • 1 scoop Isopure dutch chocolate protein in iced decaf (115 kcals, 25g protein, 2g net carbs, 1g fat). It's been a long time since I had my beloved Isopure, and I'd forgotten how delicious it is this way. Yum!
  • 1 Pure Protein frosty chocolate RTD shake (170 kcals, 35g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat)
  • Solid meal: Brussels sprout omelette panini - 1/2 Flatout Light in sundried tomato flavor (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 4g net carbs, 1.8g fat) holding 1/4 cup Publix EggStirs (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 cup chopped seasoned brussels sprouts (1/2 cup raw; they significantly reduced in volume once cooked) (20 kcals, 1.5g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) and 1 slice Kraft fat-free cheese (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat). Total - (120 kcals, 16g protein, 9g net carbs, 1.8g fat). This was random, but insanely delicious. Ahh, the wonder of brussels sprouts.
  • 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder (127 kcals, 26g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat) and 1 tsp. Hershey's Special Dark cocoa powder (5 kcals, 0.5g net carbs). (152 kcals, 26.5g protein, 4g net carbs, 2.5g fat). This was so good yesterday that I decided to have it again!
  • Pumpkin shake - decided to bring back an old favorite! I used 1 scoop of Nectar vanilla bean torte protein (90 kcals, 23g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat), 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 3g fat), and 2 tbsp. canned pumpkin (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat) with cinnamon. Total - (140 kcals, 24.5g protein, 2g net carbs, 3g fat).
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 2 Bariatric Advantage calcium citrate multivitamins (12 kcals, 3g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate orange multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate iron + C (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
924 calories
162g protein
70.1% kcals from protein
35g net carbs
15.2% kcals from net carbs
11.8g fat
11.5% kcals from fat.
This morning, I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and 45 minutes on the treadmill. This evening, I did the Caban Pilates DVD.

"Hey, He Like You!"

Over on Obesity Help's main discussion board, there was an interesting thread asking people about the most hurtful comments they'd heard related to their weight. I hadn't planned to post, but one of the responses particularly resonated with me. The poster recalled being asked out as a joke during middle school and high school and said that those comments "messed [her] up the most."

I absolutely sympathize with her. After over two decades as an obese person, people have offered so much unsolicited commentary about my weight that I've lost track. However, some of my most vivid hurtful memories involve men (boys, actually) using my desirability as a punchline. This happened shockingly often and over a long period of time - it started in elementary school and continued through high school.

The exchanges were usually very brief. I'd be walking down the hall, minding my own business, and some boy would say, "Hey girl!" Depending on how gullible I was that day, I'd turn around and look at the guy or just keep walking. Then the guy would point to some bystander and say, "He like you!" and laugh like the idea of someone "liking" me was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. Usually, the guy he was pointing to would say, "No, I don't! Shut up, man!" Interestingly, this whole conversation would happen even if I never turned around or acknowledged them. It wasn't about insulting me; it was just sport to entertain them.

The only time I was truly blindsided by this joke was when I was 8 years old and my family had just joined our church. I was naive, so when the officials said everyone in the church was "full of love," I believed them. We'd been going to the church maybe 6 months before it was time for the summer picnic. I'd just started to make friends with the other kids at church, so I was looking forward to spending time with them at this day-long event.

The Sunday before the picnic, two girls were chatting with me and told me that their cousin, whom we'll call "LaRicko," "liked" me. They said that he wanted my number so he could call me. They also told me that he wanted to talk with me at the picnic. I believed them because they were "full of love"! So I gave them my number and made sure to dress nicely for the picnic. I think I even told my mom that someone "liked" me - I was excited.

Of course, LaRicko didn't "like" me. He found out they told me he did, and he made sure to set the record straight. I didn't know how to react; this was the only time girls had never played this trick on me. And they were supposed to be my friends.

I eventually became friends with these girls and with LaRicko. Years later, when we were all in high school, he signed my yearbook. Instead of writing something normal, he closed his note with a musical reference: "Monica, 'For You I Will.'" ("For You I Will" was a popular '90s song by the R&B artist Monica.) Yet, to make sure I didn't misinterpret this reference, he added: "You know that's a joke." The irony is that I was never attracted to LaRicko.

Anyway, by the time I was in high school, the sting of these insults lessened considerably. I continued to steel myself if I had to walk past 2+ boys. But by then, I had taken on a "sassy" persona, like so many fat black women. Sometimes I'd even say something back, but that was rare. More often, I'd comfort myself with the fact that these guys were usually in remedial classes, and thus it would be just as ridiculous for me to "like" them.

Unfortunately, however, I see the residue of this brand of "joke" in my life today. I still get a little apprehensive every time I walk past a group of teenaged boys. More importantly, I've kinda become a man-hater. I used to want a romantic relationship, but now I'm completely uninterested. I don't need a man. I can adopt kids if I want them. I can pay my own bills and buy my own house if I choose to. And, as a bonus, I don't have to worry about relationship drama, most notably cheating, which seems to be epidemic these days.

I'm sure my disdain for romantic involvement isn't solely a result of the "Hey, he like you!" jokes, but they definitely contributed. And of course, almost all kids were picked on for some reason, and it doesn't do much good to dwell on that as an adult. Nonetheless, these jokes indelibly affected me.

What I Ate: 2/22/2010

I'm doing a modified liquid diet (protein shakes all day, then one solid protein-rich meal at night) for the next three days while I de-carb myself from the past few days. I'll share the missing days' eating struggles in a post tonight or tomorrow.

I noticed that the percentage of my calories from protein actually wasn't higher than usual. I guess this modified liquid diet will be more about self-control than nutritional improvement?

  • 1 Believe Chai Tea Latte in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in 4 decaf coffees (220 kcals, 32g protein, 3g net carbs, 9g fat)
  • 2 scoops Matrix Cookies & Cream (260 kcals, 46g protein, 10g carbs, 4g fat) in 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 3g fat). Total - (300 kcals, 47g protein, 11g carbs, 7g fat).
  • 4 slices Hormel Natural smoked deli turkey (67 kcals, 13.3g protein, 1.3g carbs, 1.3g fat) with 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat). Total - (102 kcals, 15.8g protein, 2.3g carbs, 3.3g fat).
  • 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder (127 kcals, 26g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat) and 1 tsp. Hershey's Special Dark cocoa powder (5 kcals, 0.5g net carbs). Yummmm. The extra cocoa helps a lot. (152 kcals, 26.5g protein, 4g net carbs, 2.5g fat).
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium citrate multivitamins (12 kcals, 3g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate orange multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate iron + C (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
961 calories
140.3g protein
58.4% kcals from protein
38.3g net carbs
15.9% kcals from net carbs
23.3g fat
21.8% kcals from fat.
I also got back to my workouts yesterday, even though I was in a rush during the AM workout. I did only 30 minutes on the elliptical in the morning and 30 minutes of Pilates at night.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Riddle Me This . . .

As you know if you're one of the few people who read this blog, my weight has been fluctuating between 187 and 194 or so for the past month. In order to stop being "obese" per the BMI charts, at 5'6.5" I need to weigh 188 or less. Even at 188, I'm still at the top of the "overweight" BMI range. A "normal" weight of 156 is still a long way off.

So, how is it that I'm able to wear several size S shirts? Granted, most of them came from stores with generous "vanity-sizing" like The Gap and Ann Taylor Loft, but the shirts are still on the smaller end of the sizes of their target demographic. And of course, being able to wear an S sweater doesn't mean I can wear an S button-down shirt. Nonetheless, I wasn't squeezing into these shirts. One of my size S Gap tees is actually a little too big. I wore a size S sweater to work yesterday, so it's not like I'm forcing my body into clothes that are too tight to wear in public. I wore one of my S tees to yoga last night also.

How does someone who is obese qualify to wear any interpretation of a "small"?

I don't know what to think. My tummy and thighs are still quite chunky (I can barely get into size L on the bottom), so this may explain some things.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What I Ate: 2/17/2010

  • Started the day with 1 scoop Inspire caramel latte protein (110 kcals, 30g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze (23 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (133 kcals, 31g protein, 2g net carbs, 1.8g fat). This was my taste-test to see whether one of my protein purchases will be another bag of Inspire caramel latte or a tub of Nectar cappuccino. I think I prefer to buy the Nectar next. Caramel latte is more of a specialty flavor, with caramel and a hint of a cinnamon taste. Nectar cappuccino is just a nice, clean coffee-ish flavor. Inspire has 20 more calories than Nectar and more protein. I think I'll pick up a tub of Nectar, but I will probably buy Inspire caramel latte again at some point.
  • 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice deli turkey (50 kcals, 10g protein, 1g carbs, 1g fat) with 1 slice Kraft fat-free American cheese (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat). Total - (75 kcals, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat).
  • 1 Believe chai tea latte in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 2 oz. chicken salad (79 kcals, 13.4g protein, 3g net carbs, 2.9g fat) with 1/2 Flatout Light Original, toasted and broken up into crackers (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (124 kcals, 17.9g protein, 6.3g net carbs, 4.7g fat)
  • 1 Pure Protein "Frosty Chocolate" ready-to-drink protein shake (170 kcals, 35g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat)
  • 2 slices failed Cloud Bread (64 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carbs, 3.8g fat) with 2 oz. chicken sausage pâté (63 kcals, 8g protein, 1.8g net carbs, 1.9g fat).
  • 1/2 scoop Matrix Cookies & Cream (65 kcals, 11.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 1g fat) and 1 scoop Nectar vanilla bean torte (90 kcals, 23g protein, 0g carbs and fat) in 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 3g fat). Total - (195 kcals, 35g protein, 3.5g carbs, 4g fat)
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage cinnamon calcium citrate lozenges (12 kcals, 3g carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate orange multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
1,011 calories
166.9g protein (umm, this might actually cross the line)
66.0% kcals from protein
37.6g net carbs
14.9% kcals from net carbs
15.9g fat
14.2% kcals from fat.
Tonight was yoga night, so I had a 75-minute class at City Yoga. Tonight's class was awesome. Really tough (at least for a beginner like me.)

To get my cardio in, I did the Leslie Sansone "Walk & Kick" aerobics DVD this morning.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

What I Ate: 2/16/2010

  • 3.5 fiber wafers (42 kcals, 3.5g protein, 7g net carbs, 0g fat) with 2 slices Kraft fat-free cheese (50 kcals, 8g protein, 4g carbs, 0g fat). Total - (92 kcals, 11.5g protein, 11g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1/2 scoop Inspire peanut butter cookie (66 kcals, 12.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 0.5g fat) and 1/2 scoop Nectar vanilla bean torte (45 kcals, 11.5g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat) with a packet of SweetLeaf stevia sweetener. Total - (131 kcals, 24.5g protein, 1g carbs, 2g fat).
  • 1 Believe Mocha Latte protein drink in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Original (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 2 oz. homemade chicken salad (79 kcals, 13.4g protein, 3g net carbs, 2.9g fat) and 1 tbsp. bell pepper-basil pesto (5 kcals). Total - (129 kcals, 17.9g protein, 6.3g net carbs, 4.7g fat).
  • Lean Body On the Go Vanilla Ice Cream ready-to-drink protein (180 kcals, 25g protein, 1g net carbs, 7g fat). I used this as coffee creamer in three decafs. This is the same size as an Oh Yeah!, but because it's 40 fewer calories I felt fine having the whole thing on one day. This also tastes freakishly similar to vanilla Oh Yeah!, maybe slightly less rich which is a good thing in my view. This would be good on the days I don't feel like splitting my shakes - having 1/2 an RTD can be cumbersome. On the other hand, Oh Yeah! has more protein. I might have space for both of these RTD brands in my protein arsenal.
  • 2 slices failed Cloud Bread (64 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carbs, 3.8g fat) with 1 wedge Laughing Cow Light french onion cheese (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carbs, 2g fat) and 2 oz. chicken sausage pâté (63 kcals, 8g protein, 1.8g net carbs, 1.9g fat). Total - (162 kcals, 16.5g protein, 2.8g net carbs, 7.7g fat).
  • 2 slices Hormel Natural Choice turkey (34 kcals, 6.7g protein, 0.7g carbs, 0.7g fat)
  • 1 scoop Nectar vanilla bean torte protein (90 kcals, 23g protein, 0g carbs and fat) with 1 tsp. Hershey's Special Dark cocoa (5 kcals) with 1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze (23 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (118 kcals, 24g protein, 1 carbs, 1.8g fat). This tasted like chocolate cake batter! I'm not sure why it tasted like that, but it was sooooo good.
  • 1 Solaray B-Complex chewable (15 kcals, 1.8g net carbs)
  • 4 Bariatric Advantage cinnamon calcium citrate lozenges (16 kcals, 4g carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate orange multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
1,012 calories
146.1g protein
57.7% kcals from protein
39.1g net carbs
15.5% kcals from net carbs
23.9g fat
21.3% kcals from fat.
I had a great exercise day, which may help compensate for skipping the last two days (? - maybe not). Anyway, I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and 45 minutes on the treadmill this morning for 90 minutes of cardio, and I also did Ana Caban Pilates DVD tonight.

Monday, February 15, 2010

What I Ate: 2/15/2010

Happy President's Day! Man, this long weekend has been terrific. ::sigh:: It's over tomorrow, but at least another weekend is just 4 days away!

  • 1 slice failed Cloud Bread (32 kcals, 3g protein, 0.8g carbs, 1.6g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free American cheese (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 2 oz. homemade chicken sausage pâté (63 kcals, 8g protein, 1.8g net carbs, 1.9g fat). Total - (120 kcals, 15g protein, 4.6g net carbs, 3.5g fat).
  • 1 scoop Nectar Cappuccino protein powder (90 kcals, 23g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (110 kcals, 23.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Original, toasted (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat), with 26 grams homemade no-sugar-added gooseberry compote (16 kcals, 0.2g protein, 2.3g net carbs, 0.3g fat) and 2 oz. homemade chicken salad (79 kcals, 13.4g protein, 3g net carbs, 2.9g fat). Total - (140 kcals, 18.1g protein, 8.6g net carbs, 5g fat).
  • 1 Pure Protein "Frosty Chocolate" ready-to-drink protein shake (170 kcals, 35g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat)
  • 2 tbsp. skim milk in Starbucks decaf coffee (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 0g fat)
  • Repeat of the chicken salad/toast/gooseberry jam meal. (140 kcals, 18.1g protein, 8.6g net carbs, 5g fat). That was the last of my gooseberry compote, sadly.
  • 2 slices failed Cloud Bread (64 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carbs, 3.8g fat) with 1 slice Kraft fat-free American cheese (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat) and 2 oz. chicken sausage pâté (63 kcals, 8g protein, 1.8g net carbs, 1.9g fat). Total - (152 kcals, 18g protein, 3.8g net carbs, 5.7g fat).
  • 1/2 scoop Nectar vanilla bean torte and 1/2 scoop Nectar cappucino in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (110 kcals, 23.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 1 Solgar B-Complex chewable (15 kcals, 1.8g net carbs)
  • 4 Bariatric Advantage cinnamon calcium citrate lozenges (16 kcals, 4g carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
998 kcals
152.2g protein (ok, this is a bit excessive)
61.0% kcals from protein
40.4g net carbs
16.2% kcals from net carbs
23.2g fat
20.9% kcals from fat.

What I Ate: Valentine's Edition

Happy belated Valentine's Day! This used to be my favorite holiday, but I wound up doing absolutely NOTHING to commemorate it. :-( Oh well, maybe next year.

  • Green bean fries - just green beans with cooking spray, salt, paprika, garlic powder using a special oven technique. Yum! (80 kcals, 4g protein, 8g net carbs, 0g fat). I ate too many of these unfortunately. They aren't something you can reheat, but I should have just tossed them once I was getting full.
  • 3 squares failed Cloud Bread (95 kcals, 9g protein, 0g carbs, 4.7g fat) with 2 slices Kraft fat-free cheese (50 kcals, 8g protein, 4g carbs, 0g fat). Total - (145 kcals, 17g protein, 4g carbs, 4.7g fat). I couldn't get my hand blender to whip the whites properly after two tries, so I just mixed all the ingredients with my slightly bubbly yolks, added some baking powder, and baked it on a cookie sheet as if I were baking the Cloud Bread. I cut it into 16 little squares. It turned out like a dense, slightly eggy bread - still pretty good actually!
  • 1 scoop Nectar Vanilla Bean Torte protein powder (90 kcals, 23g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat) in unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). with cinnamon and Truvia. Total - (110 kcals, 23.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). This was thin, but good. Tasted like vanilla-sweetened whole milk. I didn't need the cinnamon to doctor it up. I've had this mixed with water before and it was really watery and gross. It needs to be in something milky. I think I'm going to buy a tub of this - I love how low-calorie it is even with the almond milk, and I like that I wouldn't need to add a bunch of stuff to it to make it tasty, unlike my current Elite Gourmet Vanilla. But Nectar is more expesnsive; there's definitely a trade-off.
  • Same brunchy goodness as yesterday: 1/2 Flatout Light Original, toasted (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat), with 26 grams homemade no-sugar-added gooseberry compote (16 kcals, 0.2g protein, 2.3g net carbs, 0.3g fat) and 2 oz. homemade chicken salad (79 kcals, 13.4g protein, 3g net carbs, 2.9g fat). Total - (140 kcals, 18.1g protein, 8.6g net carbs, 5g fat).
  • 2 slices failed Cloud Bread (64 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carbs, 3.8g fat) with 3 tbsp. homemade chicken sausage pâté (about 63 kcals, 8g protein, 1.8g net carbs, 1.9g fat). I had some chicken sausages that I were at that point where I needed to either cook them or toss them, so I sauteed them, added a bunch of herbs and spices, ground them in my food processor, and added broth, vinegar, Truvia, Worcestershire, Liquid Smoke, and a little fat-free cream cheese. I then chilled it to mold in the fridge. It's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself :-) I'm thinking about making a vegetarian version when the moms and I have our next monthly dinner party.
  • Vanilla Cream Extreme Smoothie in two Starbucks decaf coffees. Yum! The vanilla Extreme Smoothie basically tastes like milk. It was great in coffee, and while it's totally drinkable by itself, it wouldn't be exciting to drink like Oh Yeah!. This is mostly functional. But I like that. (160 kcals, 35g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1.5 fiber wafers with 1 slice Kraft fat-free American cheese (43 kcals, 5.5g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1/2 scoop Matrix Cookies & Cream (65 kcals, 12.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 1g fat) with 1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate almond milk (23 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 3.5g fat). Total - (88 kcals, 13.5g protein, 3.5g net carbs, 4.5g fat).
  • 1 serving butternut squash fries (76 kcals, 1.2g protein, 16g net carbs, 0g fat). Maybe you could say this was my "special" treat for V-Day.
  • 4 Bariatric Advantage cinnamon calcium citrate lozenges (16 kcals, 4g carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
1,000 kcals (wow)
131.8g protein
52.7% kcals from protein
58.4g net carbs
23.4% kcals from net carbs
21.4g fat
19.3% kcals from fat.

What I Ate: 2/13/2010

The weekend means more protein samples! Today's new stuff was chocolate Champion Pure Whey Stack and "Chocolate Dream" Extreme Smoothie RTD.

  • 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice deli turkey (50 kcals, 10g protein, 1g net carbs, 1g fat), 2 wedges Laughing Cow Light Swiss (70 kcals, 5g protein, 2g carb, 4g fat), and 2 sugar-free cornichons (0 kcals). Total - (120 kcals, 15g protein, 3g net carbs, 5g fat).
  • 1 scoop Pure Whey Stack chocolate (130 kcals, 23g protein, 2.5g net carbs, 2g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate almond milk (23 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (153 kcals, 24g protein, 3.5g net carbs, 3.8g fat).
  • Cheese omelet with green pepper pesto: 1/2 cup Publix EggStirs (60 kcals, 12g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 2 slices Kraft fat-free sharp cheddar (50 kcals, 8g protein, 4g carbs, 0g fat), a smidge of leftover onion (5 kcals, 1g net carb) and about 2 tbsp. homemade green pepper pesto (5 kcals, 0.5g net carb). I make this pesto with a roasted green bell pepper, lotsa basil, garlic, vegetable broth, and natural (unsweetened) rice vinegar. It's killer delicious with virtually no calories. Total -(120 kcals, 20g protein, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat).
  • 1 Extreme Smoothie in "chocolate dream" flavor (170 kcals, 35g protein, 5g net carbs, 0.5g fat) Yes! This is great. It is very low in carbs and fat; virtually all protein. It's very, very convenient - comes in a soda can and it tastes great right out of the container. There's no need to add stuff to it or shake it like a mad person. I'm a fan.
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Original, toasted (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat), with 26 grams homemade no-sugar-added gooseberry compote (16 kcals, 0.2g protein, 2.3g net carbs, 0.3g fat) and 2 oz. homemade chicken salad (79 kcals, 13.4g protein, 3g net carbs, 2.9g fat). Total - (140 kcals, 18.1g protein, 8.6g net carbs, 5g fat). This meal was KILLER and extremely satisfying. It was like a whole ladies' brunch; I had toast and jam and enough toast left over for my chicken salad. A likely repeat for tomorrow. Whole Foods* had gooseberries last week, and I've never cooked with them so I decided to buy some, as it would help me reach one of my fifty goals for 2010. I tried one raw and it was way too sour. So I halved the rest (140 grams), cooked them on low heat until they were falling apart, added a little salt, 2 packets of Truvia, DaVinci sweetening syrup, and water, brought them to a boil, and then simmered until I liked the consistency. It made this incredible sweet-tart compote. And actually, gooseberries are relatively low in fructose (natural fruit sugar), so they are a great choice for those of us who watch our sugar intake.
  • 1/2 chocolate Oh Yeah! with a smidge of sugar-free eggnog syrup (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 3g fat)
  • Chocolate-pistachio protein panna cotta: 1/2 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein (60 kcals, 10g protein, 4.5g carbs, 0g fat); 1/2 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein (63 kcals, 15g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat), 1.5 tbsp. SF/FF pistachio pudding mix (23 kcals, 6g carbs), splash sugar-free chocolate and vanilla syrups. Total - (146 kcals, 25g protein, 11.5g protein, 0g fat)
  • 4 Bariatric Advantage cinnamon calcium citrate lozenges (16 kcals, 4g carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate orange multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
990 kcals
153.1g protein
61.9% kcals from protein
48.6g net carbs
19.6% kcals from net carbs
17.3g fat
15.7% kcals from fat.
*Yes, I know there's controversy about shopping at Whole Foods. Sorry, down here in SC we don't have a lot of choices for a broad range of organic produce, so I'll be shopping there at least through September when I move to DC. (Frankly, I'm likely to shop there when I move to DC as well. If lefties don't want me to shop at Whole Foods, they need to come up with a reasonable alternative. No, Trader Joe's (though wonderful) isn't the same.)

For exercise, I did 3 miles of the Leslie Sansone 5-Mile Fat-Burning Walk and the Quick Start Pilates for Weight Loss DVD.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Ten Months, and the Honeymoon's Over.

It's February 13, 2010, my ten-month "surgiversary."

On my nine-month surgiversary, I weighed 191.9. This morning, I weighed 190.0. So I've lost about 2 pounds in a whole month. Apparently my RNY "honeymoon," the period of rapid weight loss that usually lasts for about a year, is totally to' up and ovah.

I consider 2 pounds a plateau, or what we in the WLS community refer to as a "stall." However, labeling this simply as a "stall" obscures some of the craziness that's been going on with my weight over the past month.

My weight has been as low as 186.4, on January 23. Over the next 2 weeks or so, my weight crept back up to 194, then back down again. Over the past week, I've been weighing in the high 180s, usually between 187 and 188. For some reason, this morning I went back up into the 190s decade. ::Sigh.:: My weight has wildly fluctuated and seems to be completely out of my control.

I'm not sure what, if anything, I'm doing to cause this. About a week ago, I decided to give more calories a try. My daily calorie goal, at least for the next week or so, is 1,000. That's 100-200 more than I'd been eating before, and I've been reaching it by adding a morning protein shake. I've been exercising quite a lot, mixing cardio, yoga, Pilates, and the occasional traditional resistance workout. The only day I missed this week was Sunday, and that's because I was traveling. I need to buy the body fat analyzer, I guess. I'd be more comfortable with my body weight staying the same if I knew my body fat % was improving. In any event, the whole "calories in/calories out" line is not true for me whatsoever. I may try the 3-day liquid diet sometime soon.

If this stall can be tied to my nutrition intake, the only thing I can think of is sugarless gum, which I do not log. My thought with the gum is that since chewing gum burns calories, I don't worry about counting the minimal calories in it. The problem is that I burn fewer calories chewing the gum than I take in because I chew so much. I can go through 2-3 packs in a workday; it's almost become a replacement for compulsive eating, a transfer addiction. However, sugarless gum is generally a good weight loss habit because it keeps me from eating other things. (In fact, it's often featured on The Biggest Loser as a nifty weight loss tool.) I've gone some workdays without it, and too often I've eaten nuts or something otherwise off my daily plan when I could have just chewed the gum. I may try to give it up again, or at least cut back. It's an expensive habit, anyway.

Perhaps the stall is a result of being obese almost my whole life. Susan Maria Leach recently posted about this on her message board. She said that people who grew up normal-sized but became morbidly obese as adults "tend to drop down in weight like a rock to often below goal, and quite a few of these folks have to hang in and actually slow weight loss. . . . Some even have trouble keeping enough weight on." Conversely, people like me "are the ones who really have to fight for goal weight and have a greater tendency to top out heavy. IF people are going to gain most or all of the weight back, they are usually from this group. . . . [S]ince this group never had a set point for the body to use as a reference, it's tougher for the body to get there and stick it." Susan Maria emphasized that these are just trends she's recognized over the years; they aren't the Gospel of Gastric Bypass or anything.

Nonetheless, she might have pinpointed what's going on with me. I was chunky by the age of 5. I was wearing size 22/24 when I was 13. When I graduated high school, I was rejected health insurance because I was 330. My lowest adult weight was 210, and then I was squeezing into 18s. Now I'm 190 and wear size 14 on the bottom and usually a Medium top. My body is like, "Whaaaa? What's going on?!"

As I mentioned in a post earlier this week, it may simply be unrealistic to expect to become normal. It's sad, but I guess I have to play with the cards I was dealt. I'm going to keep fighting for my goal, but I may have to come to terms with the disappointing reality that some degree of fatness is my fate. I don't want to get so upset about the last 35 pounds that I stop being grateful for the first 150. If I can lose 2 pounds a month this year, I'll be 170 by the end of 2010. That's not so bad.

That's it. Ten months, and I'm bracing myself for life after the honeymoon. Or perhaps more accurately, I'm grieving its death.

Friday, February 12, 2010

What I Ate: 2/12/2010

  • 1 scoop Matrix Cookies & Cream (130 kcals, 23g protein, 5g carbs, 2g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (150 kcals, 23.5g protein, 5.5g carbs, 3.5g fat).
  • Chicken salad sandwich: 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 2 oz. homemade chicken salad (79 kcals, 13.4g protein, 3g net carbs, 2.9g fat). Total - (124 kcals, 17.9g protein, 6.3g net carbs, 4.7g fat). This is really good chicken salad that I made with leftover chicken breast and the dark parts of my rotisserie chicken. I used exactly half dark meat and half breast. I chopped the dark meat in the food processor so it could impart smoothness and richness throughout; I simply diced the chicken breast. I also used leftover onion, turkey bacon, and red bell pepper from the meal I cooked for my mom last Saturday. I left the pepper raw, but I sauteed the onion simply with salt. The dressing is just mustard and nonfat Fage seasoned relatively straightforwardly with Worcestershire, Liquid Smoke, Old Bay, black pepper, sage, and garlic powder. It is the best chicken salad I've ever made. The creamy dark meat is amazing in this dish, and I like the textural variation of the chicken breast chunks. I also like that this is "refrigerator" chicken salad - I just tossed in whatever I wanted to put in from the fridge and created something yummy.
  • ProJoe Nillacino as decaf coffee creamer (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • Another chicken salad sandwich (124 kcals, 17.9g protein, 6.3g net carbs, 4.7g fat) and 6 pecan halves (60 kcals, 0.7g protein, 0.4g net carbs, 6g fat).
  • Banana Chike Nutrition protein sample (190 kcals, 28g protein, 9g net carbs, 3.5g fat) in 1 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze (45 kcals, 2g protein, 2g net carbs, 3g fat) and 1 tsp. Hershey's unsweetened cocoa powder (3 kcals) with 1 packet of SweetLeaf. Total - (238 kcals, 30g protein, 11g net carbs, 6.5g fat). This was delish.
  • 2 fiber wafers (24 kcals, 2g protein, 4g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • Cheese and onion omelet: 1/2 cup Publix EggStirs (60 kcals, 12g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 2 slices Kraft fat-free sharp cheddar (50 kcals, 8g protein, 4g carbs, 0g fat), 2 tbsp. leftover caramelized onions (12 kcals, 0.8g protein, 2.4g carbs, 0g fat), and spices. Total - (122 kcals, 20.8g protein, 8.4g net carbs, 0g fat).
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in orange (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
1,024 calories
132.8g protein
51.9% kcals from protein
58.9g net carbs
23.0% kcals from net carbs
26.9g fat
23.6% kcals from fat.

For today's exercise, I did 45 minutes on the elliptical at the office gym. I'd planned to do more, but I overslept yet again.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

What I Ate: 2/11/2010

  • 1 scoop Matrix Cookies & Cream (130 kcals, 23g protein, 5g carbs, 2g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (150 kcals, 23.5g protein, 5.5g carbs, 3.5g fat).
  • Believe Chai Tea in decaf coffee (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread, 4.5 homemade spicy chicken meatballs, and 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (124 kcals, 17g protein, 8g net carbs, 2.5g fat).
  • Ditto. (124 kcals, 17g protein, 8g net carbs, 2.5g fat).
  • 1/2 chocolate Oh Yeah in 2 decaf coffees (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 4.5g fat)
  • Weird fiber wafer from Rosewood Market (12 kcals, 2g net carbs, 1g protein)
  • Chicken and bacon omelet: 1/4 cup egg substitute (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carbs, 0g fat); 2 oz. dark meat rotisserie chicken (118 kcals, 14.6g protein, 0g carbs, 6.2g fat); and 1 strip Applegate Farms uncured turkey bacon, diced (35 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (183 kcals, 26.6g protein, 1g carb, 7.7g fat). This was delicious. More calories and fat than I usually like, but I didn't want to toss the dark meat for that reason.
  • 1/2 cup nonfat Fage (60 kcals, 10g protein, 4.5g carbs, 0g fat) with 1/2 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein (64 kcals, 12g protein, 1.5g carbs, 0.5g fat), 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 4g net carbs), Torani sugar-free caramel syrup, and 1 packet of SweetLeaf sweetener. Total - (139 kcals, 22g protein, 10g carbs, 0.5g fat).
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in orange (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
1,029 kcals
143.1g protein
55.6% kcals from protein
55g net carbs
21.4% kcals from net carbs
22.7g fat
19.9% kcals from fat.
For exercise, I started the day with 50 minutes on the elliptical. I also did the Caban Pilates DVD tonight after work.

Before Photos. Way Before.

I'm not super keen on putting pictures of myself on the Internets, but I still want an easily accessible receptacle for a few photos of me at my highest weight. At least for now, I'm posting them here.

These photos are mostly from Fall 2001, at the beginning of my junior year of college. I know this because of the particularly bad weave, which deserves its own post. (I could keep a whole blog on my lifetime of hair issues. There's a reason I cut it all off.)

Anyway, as I've mentioned numerous times in the past, my highest measured weight was 338 in or about May 2002. I'm pretty sure I weighed a bit more than that in these pictures, maybe 350 or so.

At lunch with a couple girlfriends.
I loved this sweater! I had another one in gray and orange that I used to wear with a bright orange bubble vest (yup, don't hate.)

---

At the Fall 2001 FUSAB retreat. I miss retreats.
This is another sweater that I adored. Unfortunately, I usually wore it with a gray skirt made of some weird polyester material that felt like vinyl. Pickings were slim; what can you do?

---

At my 20th birthday celebration.

More explanation is probably needed on the birthday photos. We went to Steak 'n Shake, painted ceramics, and hung out at the apartment. My friends baked red velvet cupcakes for me, my favorite. The photos are in chronological order: The first, the Steak 'n Shake photo, is what I like to call my "ultimate fat pic." Not only does it feature me at my highest weight, it also shows how I got there! (See the empty chocolate malt milkshake glass, the cheese fries, the bacon cheeseburger so big that it hangs off the plate.) The second is me with my cupcakes after dinner. The third is after all the eating. I had "the itis." It was a fun birthday.

I'm not sure how long I'll leave these up here, but I like having something easy to refer to. Please pray that I never go back to being this obese!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What I Ate: 2/10/2010

  • 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder (127 kcals, 26g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze (23 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (150 kcals, 27g protein, 4g net carbs, 2.8g fat). This was not as good as I remembered. It was tasty, rich, and very smooth, but something wasn't as exciting about it. Probably because I had this at 6 AM :-)
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat), 4 (2 oz.) homemade spicy chicken meatballs (48 kcals, 8g protein, 2.5g net carbs, 0.5g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat). Total - (118 kcals, 16.5g protein, 7.8g net carbs, 2.3g fat).
  • 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees at Starbucks (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat).
  • Repeat of the meatball sammich - gonna eat them 2x a day until they're gone (118 kcals, 16.5g protein, 7.8g net carbs, 2.3g fat) and 4 pecan halves (40 kcals, 0.4g protein, 0.4g net carbs, 4g fat)
  • Believe Chai Tea protein drink as decaf coffee creamer (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 3 oz. rotisserie chicken, mostly breast but some leg (about 129 kcals, 21g protein, 0.8g carbs, 4.8g fat) with 2 oz. tofu shirataki noodles (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 0g fat); 2 tbsp. homemade tomato-basil sauce (10 kcals, 2g net carbs), and a squeeze of soy sauce. Total - (149 kcals, 21.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 4.8g fat)
  • Mixed things up - instead of having traditional Fage tonight, I had 1/4 cup dry TVP (80 kcals, 12g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), mixed with 1/2 scoop Inspire peanut butter cookie protein (66 kcals, 12.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 0.5g fat)and 2 tbsp. Fage (15 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1.2g carbs, 0g fat) with sugar-free syrups. Total - (161 kcals, 26g protein, 4.7g net carbs, 0.5g fat). This had an oatmeal-like consistency. I tried this because I need to cut down on the carbs of this late night snack. This was good, but not at good as Fage with pudding mix and whipped cream. ::sigh:: I'll keep looking for a decadent option with fewer than 10 net carbs.
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in orange (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
1,028 kcals
143.9g protein
56.0% kcals from protein
46.5g net carbs
18.1% kcals from net carbs
22.7g fat
19.9% kcals from fat.
I went to a 75-minute yoga class today. I was supposed to do cardio this morning, but I was incredibly sleepy and just couldn't get out of bed. I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll get a nice, lengthy cardio session in to compensate.

Goals.

I went to my biweekly WLS support group meeting on Tuesday night. As usual, we started the meeting with introductions. Instead of taking the usual approach of introducing myself with how much I'd lost, I went with, "Hi, I'm Monica. On Saturday, it will be 10 months since my surgery. I have 35 pounds left to lose." (emphasis added to the important part).

I'm not sure why, but it felt right to lead with my goal instead of my starting point. Perhaps one reason is that starting with "I've lost 151 pounds from my highest weight and 117 since surgery" feels braggadocious. Not only that, everyone at the support group claps after you announce how much you've lost. I've netted a 2.5-pound loss this past month; I didn't want to hear any applause.

But I think the main reason is that I'm increasingly worried that I won't reach my goal weight. Maybe if I continually say my goal weight aloud - "152, 152, 152" - I will speak it into existence.

After my introduction, the nurse who leads the group says, "Well, you've done great. You look like you're already at goal." In response, I raised my eyebrows, looked down with embarrassment, and shook my head. I felt the pressure of my monstrous belly against my snug size 14 skirt. I thought, "If this is goal, I'm really disappointed."

I'm just not sure what my ultimate goal weight should be, and now that I'm on the downward slope of my weight loss phase, the lack of a clear goal is a problem. My surgeon doesn't assign a goal like some do, which makes sense philosophically, but may not make sense for clueless people like me. He asked me how much I wanted to lose; my response was, "Umm... I'm not sure." I haven't had a normal body weight since I was 5 or 6, if then. I have no idea what a healthy weight would be for me.

I initially turned to the BMI charts. My first goal was 156, because at 5'6.5", that would give me a "normal" BMI of 24.8. Later, I slightly lowered the goal to 152, half of my surgery starting weight. That would give me a BMI of 24.2, still on the high end of normal.

I'm not even sure if a normal BMI is realistic or desirable. Right now, my BMI is 29.8, right on the cusp between "obese" and "overweight." Some people decide their goals based on the percentage of excess weight lost, based on a medical perspective that RNYers can expect to lose up to 80% of their excess weight. So, if I base my excess weight on my highest weight of 338, "goal" would be 192.4 - in which case, I'm below goal (whatever.) If I base my excess weight on my surgery weight, my goal is 185.6, less than 2 pounds away.

Gee. This post is even more scattershot than usual. I'll just say this: I'm confused. The post reflects my general puzzlement about what my stopping point will be. I don't want to have a goal that I physiologically won't ever reach, but I still want my goal to be aggressive.

Mini-goals:
192.4: 80% excess weight from highest measured weight of 338
188: BMI of 29.9; no longer "obese"
185.6: 80% excess weight from official surgery start weight of 304
169: Half of highest measured weight of 338
156: BMI of 24.8; no longer "overweight"
152: Half of official surgery start weight of 304

I still need a mini-goal somewhere in the low 180s and/or 170s.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What I Ate: 2/9/2010

  • 1 scoop Inspire Dutch Chocolate Cake protein (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) in 1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze (23 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (149 kcals, 31g protein, 3g net carbs, 1.8g fat)
  • Believe Chai Tea protein drink as decaf coffee creamer (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat), 4 (2 oz.) homemade chicken meatballs (48 kcals, 8g protein, 2.5g net carbs, 0.5g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat). Total - (118 kcals, 16.5g protein, 7.8g net carbs, 2.3g fat).
  • Repeat of the previous meal (118 kcals, 16.5g protein, 7.8g net carbs, 2.3g fat)
  • 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees at Starbucks (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat)
  • 3 oz. rotisserie chicken breast (102 kcals, 20g protein, 1.2g carbs, 2.4g fat) with 2 oz. tofu shirataki noodles (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 0g fat); and 2 tbsp. homemade tomato-basil sauce (10 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (122 kcals, 20.5g protein, 3.7g net carbs, 2.4g fat)
  • Cookies and cream cheesecake protein yogurt: 1/2 cup Fage (60 kcals, 10g protein, 4.5g net carbs, 0g fat) with 1/2 scoop Matrix Cookies & Cream protein (65 kcals, 12.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 1g fat), 1.5 tbsp. sugar-free cheesecake pudding (23 kcals, 6g carbs), and sugar-free cookie dough syrup, topped with 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g carbs). Total - (163 kcals, 22.5g protein, 16g net carbs, 1g fat).
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in orange (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
967 kcals
143g protein
59.2% kcals from protein
58.8g net carbs
24.3% kcals from net carbs
15.8g fat
14.7% kcals from fat.

For exercise, I started the day with 50 minutes on the treadmill. I don't love the treadmill, but I've recently noticed how weak and inflexible my hip flexors are and the treadmill seems to work them out more than the elliptical does.

This evening, I did the Ana Caban Quick Start Pilates for Weight Loss DVD again. I'm finally starting to be able to do hip circles. I'm still terrible at them, but there's definitely been some progress. Also, the one-leg teaser is becoming more bearable.

Michelle Obama's Childhood Obesity Initiative

The First Lady's "very ambitious" campaign against childhood obesity, "Let's Move," is being announced today.

Given my experiences as a nerdy, awkward obese kid, I'm happy to see this attention toward childhood obesity as a public health issue. I'm particularly interested in the potential changes in cafeteria food, which I recall was heinous when I was growing up. I vividly remember the pizza and fries, the fried okra, the "pork choppette." Our government should definitely stop using tax dollars to feed that mess to our children.

My only reservation about this initiative involves the effects of all this national attention on the emotional health of kids who are already living with obesity. Is it possible to make sure initiatives like this, which are sorely needed, don't lead to greater stigmatization of obese children? Aside from the touchy-feely reasons we shouldn't stigmatize obese kids, stigmatization is counterproductive. Fat people who are made picked on eat for comfort; they get fatter; they are hassled about their weight even more; they eat more.

My least favorite activity during elementary school was the Presidential Fitness Challenge (or whatever it was called.) The gym teachers gave us a list of activities, including sit-ups, pull-ups, hamstring stretches, and running, and they kept a tally of how each student performed. It was humiliating. I don't remember whether I was a comfort-eater back then or not, but I know that humiliation didn't motivate me to lose weight.

I suppose there's no way to guarantee that teachers and skinny kids won't be cruel to fat children. Maybe that's one reason why, as I've written, there should be charter school opportunities for the chunkier among us.

Monday, February 8, 2010

What I Ate: 2/8/2010

  • 1 scoop Nectar Chocolate Truffle protein powder (100 kcals, 23g protein, 0g net carbs, 0g fat) in 4 oz. unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze (23 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.8g fat). Total - (123 kcals, 24g protein, 1g net carbs, 1.8g fat).
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat), 4 (2 oz.) homemade chicken meatballs (48 kcals, 8g protein, 2.5g net carbs, 0.5g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat). Total - (118 kcals, 16.5g protein, 7.8g net carbs, 2.3g fat).
  • Believe Chai Tea protein drink as decaf coffee creamer (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat), 4 (2 oz.) homemade chicken meatballs (48 kcals, 8g protein, 2.5g net carbs, 0.5g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat). Total - (118 kcals, 16.5g protein, 7.8g net carbs, 2.3g fat).
  • 6 pecan halves (60 kcals, 0.7g protein, 0.4g net carbs, 6g fat).
  • 1 bag of Crispy Green freeze-dried mango chips (40 kcals, 1g protein, 7g net carbs)
  • 3 oz. rotisserie chicken breast (102 kcals, 20g protein, 1.2g carbs, 2.4g fat)
  • 1/2 cup nonfat Fage (60 kcals, 10g protein, 4.5g net carbs, 0g fat) with 1/2 scoop Lean Dessert fresh cinnamon roll (65 kcals, 10g protein, 3g net carbs, 1.5g fat), 1.5 tbsp. sugar-free cheesecake pudding (23 kcals, 6g carbs), and 3 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (23 kcals, 6g net carbs). Total - (171 kcals, 20g protein, 19.5g net carbs, 1.5g fat). This was edible but nasty overall. I keep trying to find a use for this protein powder that I bought right before surgery, but I just can't seem to find a way to enjoy this. ::sigh::
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in orange (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 2g net carbs)
Total:
919 calories
118.7g protein
51.7% kcals from protein
63.7g net carbs (too many.)
27.7% kcals from net carbs
17.8g fat
17.4% kcals from fat.

Today's workout was an evening Pilates DVD. I drove back from Anderson this morning, so no gym time.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Upping the Calories Again

I'm going to try upping my calories again, for at least two weeks. The new calorie goal is 1,000 calories a day, which I've hit maybe once or twice since surgery.

I'm trying this because, in talking to other post-ops and comparing plans, I hear most often that people think my calories are too low. My surgeon's office doesn't establish a calorie goal, so I've been following the low-calorie end of the BariatricEating.com plan, which says that post-ops should eat 800-1200 calories. However, I've also heard that several nutritionists, including a nutritionist I met with in DC, recommend at least 1,000 calories a day. I've stuck with my goal of around 800-900 nonetheless, but I often see earlier-outs eating more calories than I do. Maybe I should learn something from them?

The scale is STUCK even though I'm doing everything I'm supposed to as far as I know. I'm nowhere near a healthy body shape. My body is still covered in fat. Like, no muscles are detectable anywhere. I'm not talking just skin; I mean fat. I'd bet my body fat percentage is like 50%. Because I'm lacking lean muscle, I've recently decided to build my strength and muscle mass. Building muscle will boost my metabolism and help me shed this last 40-50 pounds.

I'll be increasing my calories by adding one small-volume protein shake a day, in the morning. I didn't want to increase calories in a way that might set me up for failure in the long run, such as adding carbs/fat or eating larger meals. I already skew a lot of my calories toward the evening, so I definitely want to put this additional shake in the morning.

This brings me up to 7 meals a day, 3 solids and 4 supplements. I will try this for at least two weeks. It's a lot of meals, akin to grazing even perhaps, but I really, really don't want to develop a taste for fattier foods or add unnecessary volume to my solid meals. They are already pretty big - my nightly omelet is huge as it is.

I am also thinking about purchasing a body fat analyzer, specifically the Omron HBF-306, which has been recommended by folks on ObesityHelp.com. It will give me more important information than that silly scale, which this morning weighed me once at 181.0 (yeah right - thanks for the false hope), then weighed me 191.0 five minutes later.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

What I Ate: 2/4/2010

  • 1 ProJoe mocha protein drink as creamer in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat).
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice roast beef (45 kcals, 8.2g protein, 0g carbs, 1.5g fat), 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge used as sandwich spread (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat), and 1.5 tsp. mustard with a packet of Splenda. Total - (125 kcals, 15.2g protein, 4.3g net carbs, 5.3g fat).
  • 3 oz. chicken breast with 2 tbsp. sweetened mustard (135 kcals, 20g protein, 1.5g carbs, 1g fat)
  • 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees at Starbucks (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat)
  • Italian Omelette: 1/2 cup Publix EggStirs (60 kcals, 12g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat) with 2 slices Hormel Natural Choice roast beef (30 kcals, 5.5g protein, 0g carbs, 1g fat), 1/4 cup Kraft fat-free shredded mozzarella (45 kcals, 9g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat), 1 slice raw sweet onion (10 kcals, 2g net carbs) and homemade tomato-basil sauce (10 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (155 kcals, 26.5g protein, 8g net carbs, 1g fat). So delicious!
  • 1 wedge Laughing Cow Light Swiss (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat) with 2 tbsp. homemade tomato-basil sauce (10 kcals, 2g net carbs)
  • Chocolate-pistachio protein panna cotta: 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein (63 kcals, 15g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat), 1.5 tbsp. SF/FF pistachio pudding mix (23 kcals, 6g carbs), splash sugar-free dulce de leche and chocolate syrup, 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carbs). Total - (141 kcals, 21.6g protein, 13.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in grape (15 kcals, 3g net carbs)
Total:
898 kcals
121.8g protein
54.3% kcals from protein
49.8g net carbs
22.2% kcals from net carbs
19.3g fat
19.3% kcals from fat.

This morning, I did two Leslie Sansone DVDs, 30-Minute Walk and Walk Strong. All the squats and lunges in Walk Strong turn my legs into jelly.

So, DS Isn't Magic After All.

Lots of non-ops have heard of the Lap Band and the roux-en-y gastric bypass, but there are many other weight loss surgeries out there. I intially wanted the biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch ("DS"), but it wasn't available to me. I wanted the DS simply because studies show that it presents the least likelihood of regain, and because I thought I would be able to volume eat with no repercussions. The DS is the most malabsorptive of the regularly-performed WLS options, permitting the body to absorb only 20% of fat intake. In comparison, the band is purely restrictive, while the RNY is both restrictive and malabsorptive. DS is somewhat less restrictive and more malabsorptive than the RNY.

I had the RNY because it was the most malabsorptive option available to me at the time. That was it. It wasn't because I'd heard RNY was the "gold standard"; it wasn't because I was afraid of the risks or alleged DS side effects. RNY was my choice because I was morbidly obese, my insurance covered RNY, and I was going to take what I could get at the time instead of waiting around and getting even fatter.

I've been thrilled with my RNY so far, but in the back of my mind I still coveted the DS. I worry a lot about stretching my stoma (the surgeon-created opening between the reconfigured tummy and the small intestine.) There are revision procedures to address this problem (e.g., Stomaphyx; band over bypass; the ROSE procedure), but I've heard they don't work that well in the long term. On the other hand, the DS leaves the pyloric valve (valve between a normal stomach and the small intestine that regulates the rate of food emptying) intact, so there's no need to worry about stretching the stoma.

However, I'm most envious of DSers when I'm having a rough go with the scale. I say to myself - and often to others - "Well, if this doesn't work, I'm getting the DS!" I thought that with the DS, it wouldn't matter what I ate because I wouldn't absorb half of it. There's no way I'd regain, no matter what!

Guess what: I was wrong. People with DS can regain too. It may be statistically less likely, but it is nonetheless possible if you break the DS rules.

Over the past couple days I've taken a few looks at the DS message board on ObesityHelp.com. Why? Because, even though I've had the RNY, I've still thought of DS as a future option. I'm a DS fan and wanted to stay up on the info.

I learned three amazing things from lurking on the DS board:

1: Given my particular food demons and preferences, RNY probably would have been the right call for me even if DS had been available.

I was vegetarian for nearly 6 years, and I'm considering going back to it someday. If I had the DS, that would be extremely difficult if not impossible - the DS diet is even lower carb than the RNY. I'd say DS is to Atkins as RNY is to South Beach, maybe? No, not all DSers remain low-carb for life, but some say that more than a couple bites of white flour gives them the runs all day. Yes, there are similar RNY horror stories usually pertaining to meat, but I'd rather get sick from meat than bread. And fortunately, I can tolerate meat really well. Yes, you can eat more with DS than with RNY, but you still can't eat a lot. And the foods are allowed in large volume, like fats and meats, are the foods I'm least likely to binge on. I've never been a big fatty food lover. Greasy food has always kinda grossed me out (and I was exposed to a LOT growing up in the South and spending a lot of time with my grandparents.) I'd always choose the lowfat option; I'd just eat an ungodly amount of it. Getting to eat unlimited regular bacon doesn't excite me at all.

2: DSers have weight-loss stalls too.

Maybe it was dumb for me not to realize this. But I sincerely believed that if I'd had DS, the weight would roll right off even faster than it has with the RNY. Now, having read the DS board and seen the posts about stalls that are just like the ones on the RNY board, I'm not sure that's true.

3: As with any other WLS, DSers can regain if they don't follow the DS dietary rules.

For some reason, I thought DSers were exempt from most dietary restrictions. I probably got this impression from DSers themselves. Because DSers feel oppressed and discriminated against in the WLS community, they try not to air their dirty laundry publicly. DSers are usually cheerleaders for their surgery on the message boards, which is understandable because there is a lot of misinformation and unwarranted DS-hate out there.

However, when you visit the (D)ark (S)ide, as some of them call it, you see that, much like RNY, weight loss and maintenance are no longer effortless after the first year or so. I just read a post in which a person a few years out shared that she had seventy more pounds to lose because she's allowed empty carbs like rice, pasta, bread, and regular Coke back into her life. I read several posts in which a people admitted to regain after DS (no, they didn't regain all of their weight, but more than the standard bounceback of 10-15 pounds.) What was fascinating, particularly about the first post, is that several DSers chimed in with comments like, "There is no WLS that exists that is a free ride," and "Those simple and forever rules apply to all WLS," and "Compliance is key," and "Some folks may have to diet."

Whaaaa??? I've read comments from DSers on other boards where they talk about the joy of eating cookies, drinking while eating, and never dieting while still maintaining their goal weight. But it turns out that DSers have known the truth all along: No surgery will allow you to eat cookies all the time and get to/stay at goal. There really is no magical solution to morbid obesity. No matter what surgery type we have, those of us who struggle with this will be fighting it for the rest of our lives. Yes, some surgeries make the process easier than others. DS has the most malabsorption, so the theory is that even if you screw up every now and again, it will just come out the other end (to put it indelicately.) But even with all of that malabsorption, you still have to follow the rules most of the time to be a long-term success.

Perhaps all of this was obvious. It was naive of me to buy into the DS hype, and had I taken a look at dsfacts.com's weight regain section, I would have known this already. I will admit that I didn't thoroughly research the DS, mostly because I found out early on that it wasn't going to be an immediate option.

In any event, my grass-is-greener perspective on the DS is a thing of the past. DS is wonderful, but so is RNY, and just like RNY, it takes work. My covetousness of DS was keeping me from fully appreciating my own surgery. I realize now that RNY was not just the best option available to me - it was the best option for me, period.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

What I Ate: 2/3/2010

  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice rotisserie chicken (50 kcals, 11g protein, 0g carbs, 1g fat), 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge used as sandwich spread (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat), and 1.5 tsp. mustard with a packet of Splenda. Total - (130 kcals, 18g protein, 4.3g net carbs, 4.8g fat).
  • 1 ProJoe mocha protein drink as creamer in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat).
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 2 oz. chicken breast (60 kcals, 12g protein, 1g carbs, 1g fat), 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge used as sandwich spread (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat), and 1.5 tsp. mustard with Splenda. Total - (140 kcals, 19g protein, 5.3g net carbs, 4.8g fat).
  • 1 ProJoe chai tea protein drink as creamer in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat).
  • Italian Omelette: 1/2 cup Publix EggStirs (60 kcals, 12g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat) with 2 slices Hormel Natural Choice roast beef (30 kcals, 5.5g protein, 0g carbs, 1g fat), 1/4 cup Kraft fat-free shredded mozzarella (45 kcals, 9g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat), 1 slice raw sweet onion (10 kcals, 2g net carbs) and homemade tomato-basil sauce (10 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (155 kcals, 26.5g protein, 8g net carbs, 1g fat). So delicious!
  • Chocolate-pistachio protein panna cotta: 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein (63 kcals, 15g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat), 1.5 tbsp. SF/FF pistachio pudding mix (23 kcals, 6g carbs), splash sugar-free dulce de leche and chocolate syrup, 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carbs). Total - (141 kcals, 21.6g protein, 13.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in grape (15 kcals, 3g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs)
Total:
878 kcals
125.1g protein
57.0% kcals from protein
55.1g net carbs
25.1% kcals from net carbs
12.1g fat
12.4% kcals from fat.
Today's exercise was an hour on the elliptical in the morning and a 75-minute yoga class after work. I tried something different on the elliptical this morning, doing intervals changing the crossramp but not stressing about speed. I worked my legs in different directions than usual. It was a good variation.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

What I Ate: 2/2/2010

I've been tracking the past few days but am behind on calculating the totals. I'll be posting the menus from Friday through Monday as soon as I get the time!

  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice rotisserie chicken (50 kcals, 11g protein, 0g carbs, 1g fat), 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge used as sandwich spread (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat), and 1.5 tsp. mustard with a packet of Splenda. Total - (130 kcals, 18g protein, 4.3g net carbs, 4.8g fat).
  • 1 ProJoe "Smooth Chai Tea" protein drink as creamer in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat).
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 2 oz. chicken breast (60 kcals, 12g protein, 1g carbs, 1g fat), 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge used as sandwich spread (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat), and 2 tbsp. homemade tomato-basil sauce (10 kcals, 1g net carbs). Total - (150 kcals, 19g protein, 6.3g net carbs, 4.8g fat).
  • 1 of my cinnamon-dusted peanut butter trail mix truffles (rough estimate: 50 kcals, 3g protein, 3g net carbs, 2g fat).
  • 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees at Starbucks (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat)
  • Italian Omelette: 1/2 cup Publix EggStirs (60 kcals, 12g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), with 2 slices Hormel Natural Choice roast beef (30 kcals, 5.5g protein, 0g carbs, 1g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 1 slice raw sweet onion (10 kcals, 2g net carbs) and tomato sauce (10 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (135 kcals, 21.5g protein, 8g net carbs, 1g fat). This was yummo in my tummo.
  • 1.5 tbsp. raisins (50 kcals, 15g net carbs)
  • Caramel-cinnamon-butterscotch protein panna cotta: 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 scoop Inspire Caramel Latte protein (55 kcals, 15g protein, 0.5g carb, 0g fat), 1.5 tbsp. SF/FF butterscotch pudding mix (23 kcals, 6g carbs), splash sugar-free dulce de leche syrup, 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 4g net carbs), and cinnamon. Total - (133 kcals, 21.6g protein, 10.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in grape (15 kcals, 3g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs)
Total:
950 kcals
119.1g protein
50.1% kcals from protein
67.6g net carbs (yikes! the raisins got me.)
28.5% kcals from net carbs
18.6g fat
17.6% kcals from fat.

Today's exercise was very straightforward - 45 minutes on the elliptical this morning before work. I'd planned to go for an hour, but seriously 44 minutes and 20 seconds into my workout, the fire alarm went off at the gym. I kept going for 40 more seconds to hit the 45, then the marshals told me I really had to leave the building. Argh!

Monday, February 1, 2010

What I Ate: 2/1/2010

  • 1 ProJoe "Smooth Chai Tea" protein drink as creamer in 2 decaf coffees (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat).
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice rotisserie chicken (50 kcals, 11g protein, 0g carbs, 1g fat), 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge used as sandwich spread (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat), and 1.5 tsp. mustard with a packet of Splenda. Total - (130 kcals, 18g protein, 4.3g net carbs, 4.8g fat).
  • 1/2 Flatout Light Italian flatbread (45 kcals, 4.5g protein, 3.3g net carbs, 1.8g fat) with 2 oz. chicken breast (60 kcals, 12g protein, 1g carbs, 1g fat), 1 Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge used as sandwich spread (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat), and 1.5 tsp. mustard with a packet of Splenda. Total - (140 kcals, 19g protein, 5.3g net carbs, 4.8g fat).
  • 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees at Starbucks (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat)
  • Caramel-cinnamon-butterscotch protein panna cotta: 1/2 cup Fage (60 kcals, 10g protein, 4.5g net carbs, 0g fat), 1 scoop Inspire Caramel Latte protein (110 kcals, 30g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat), 1.5 tbsp. SF/FF butterscotch pudding mix (23 kcals, 6g carbs), splash sugar-free dulce de leche syrup, 3 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (23 kcals, 6g net carbs). Total - (216 kcals, 40g protein, 17.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
  • 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
  • 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 4g net carbs)
  • 2 Celebrate multivitamins in grape (15 kcals, 3g net carbs)
  • 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs)
Total:
788 kcals
113g protein
57.4% kcals from protein
47.6g net carbs
24.2% kcals from net carbs
15.6g fat
17.8% kcals from fat.
Today's exercise started with the Ana Caban Pilates DVD this morning, and then I did the Leslie Sansone "Walk Strong" DVD in the evening.