Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Twenty-Nine Goals for 2011

I drafted these back in January, but couldn't quite come up with enough (I planned on 30 but could only get 29!) But even though it's April, I still want to try to meet them as much as possible.  Better late than never!

Health
  • Lose roughly 20 pounds (get back to 170 and be maintaining that weight at the end of 2011).
  • Read at least three books on mindful eating/beating compulsive eating.
  • Go to the dentist at least once.
  • Go to primary care doctor in DC at least once more, and find a new primary care doctor in new city.
  • Have vitamin levels checked and do follow-up with bariatric surgeon. - DONE
  • Continue to attend regular bariatric support group whenever possible - must have really good excuses to skip.
  • Give up or significantly reduce consumption of un-affirming foods: cashews, peanut butter, cookies, candies, and bread. If I could give up soda and rice, I can certainly eliminate these other foods. Limit almonds/cashews/pecans to once/month at most; limit pistachios and soy nuts to once/week at most.
Physical Activity & Adventure
  • Find a regular yoga studio, a regular class, a regular teacher.
  • Practice yoga asana at least once per week, at home or in a studio.
  • Be able to get into and practice headstand against the wall (this one came to me in a dream, which was really weird because I never dream.)
  • Go to Zumba at least twice.
  • Register for and complete at least 2 "races" of any length. Walking them is fine.
  • Go hiking at least 2 times.
  • Go biking at least once.
  • Go rock climbing!
Professional & Creative
  • Publish at least two op-ed pieces.
  • Cook with at least 10 new-to-me ingredients (I'm lowering the number because I cooked with such a wide array of ingredients last year.) - so far, beef tongue, fiddlehead ferns, daikon, turkey wings, rabbit, yellow carrots. Six down, four to go. 
    • Update 4/21 - baby artichokes
  • Take a pottery class.
  • Join a choir. - DONE (Washington Performing Arts Society Men & Women of Gospel)
Interpersonal Connection
  • Join an online dating community and actively participate at least once.
  • Go speed dating at least once.
  • Go on at least one "real date." (yeah, I'm that pathetic - one date in a whole year would be a breakthrough)
  • Host at least 3 dinner parties inviting people from different sets of friends.
  • Organize an apple-picking or similar fruit-picking trip.
Miscellaneous
  • Volunteer - either a sustained volunteer opportunity or at least 5 single-shot volunteer opportunities.
  • Go to karaoke at least once. - DONE
  • Go dancing at least once (this is a physical activity I guess, but I'm listing it here anyway).
  • Have a plastic surgery consultation.
  • Develop a side hustle.
  • Find an eating disorder therapist, a bariatric support group and either a Weight Watchers meeting or Overeaters Anonymous community in Boston.

If You Bite It, Write It - January 24, 2011

  • Chocolate-covered strawberry protein shake - 170
  • Coconut-key lime breakfast bundt cake - 130
  • 2 rich mocha breakfast bundt cakes - 260
  • 1 cup serving Kale, Red Pepper, and Black Eyed Pea Soup
  • 1 Boca Cheeseburger Patty
  • Another coconut key-lime breakfast cake from my new recipe (135
  • 1 slice soy "cornbread" (52 kcals, 5.8g protein, 2.4 net carbs, 2.5g fat)
  • 150 grams strawberries with 1T balsamic vinegar and 1/4 cup Splenda (100
  • Two more slices soy "cornbread" with a little I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Spray and SF maple syrup (about 110 kcals, 11.6g protein, 5g net carbs, 5g fat).
1157 kcals,

If You Bite It, Write It - January 25, 2011

  • Mocha shake
  • 4T lowfat Coffeemate in a french press of decaf Sumatra
  • 1 Rich Mocha breakfast bundt cake
  • Another Rich Mocha Breakfast Bundt Cake
  • 1 serving Kale, Red Pepper, and Black-Eyed Pea Soup
  • 1 Coconut-Key Lime Breakfast Bundt Cake with 2T reduced fat unsweetened coconut, toasted () and SF maple syrup
  • 2 slices "Cornbread" (104 kcals, ) with 1 tsp. whipped butter (20 kcals, 2g fat) and SF maple syrup
  • 3 slices cornbead, butter, maple
  • Roughly 165 grams strawberries with balsmaic and Splenda

Sunday, January 23, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 22, 2011

  • Banana-garam masala protein frosty: 1 scoop Matrix simply vanilla (110 kcals, 23g protein ___), 1 cup Hood Calorie Countdown milk - the best! (),
  • 2 slivers of that pumpkin frittata mess-up thing from yesterday
  • The last sliver of that pumpkin frittata thing and 158 grams strawberries () with 1T balsamic vinegar (5 kcals, 1g carbs) and 6 packets Splenda (18 kcals, 4g carbs).
  • 1/4 cup kale soup with 50 grams spaghetti squash
  • Sbux venti decaf coffee with 1T half and half, 10 Splendas, and 3 Truvias - yeah, a little oversweetened ().
  • 1.5 coconut-key lime breakfast bundt cakes with 2T Fage and toasted coconut (about 20 kcals). Total - ().
  • 150 grams strawberries, 1T balsamic vinegar, and about 1/4 cup Splenda with fiber
  • 1.5 more coconut0key lime bundt cakes - oh my
  • More kale soup with spaghetti squash
  • More strawberries with balsamic - a lot more, in the middle of the night

Saturday, January 22, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 21, 2010

  • Basic chocolate protein smoothie.
  • 1 Pumpkin Spice Breakfast Bundt Cake, 1 oz. Fage 0%, 2T Splenda, 2T SF Vermont Maple Syrup (8 kcals, 1g net carbs).
  • About 100 grams spaghetti squash and about 1/6 of this weird savory pumpkin-balsamic loaf thing (90 kcals, 7.3g protein, 6g net carbs, 3.2g fat). It was supposed to be low-carb bread, but it sort of imploded due to my unwise decision to add a bunch of vinegar at the end, which killed the leavening power of the baking soda and baking powder. It was delicious though; kinda tastes like sausage.
  • Another serving of the weird pumpkin frittata-like thing (90 kcals, 7.3g protein, 6g net carbs, 3.2g fat) and about 200 grams strawberries with 2T balsamic vinegar and 1/3 cup Splenda.
  • About 200 grams spaghetti squash with broth.
  • About 200 more grams strawberries with balsamic vinegar
  • 1/2 cup Fage 0% and 1/2 cup canned pumpkin, about 2 tsp. SF/FF vanilla pudding mix, a tiny drop of banana extract, cinnamon, allspice, and clove. This was delicious.
  • Another serving of pumpkin overly moist frittata thing (90 kcals, 7.3g protein, 6g net carbs, 3.2g fat)  and about 100 grams of strawberries with balsamic and Splenda (see a theme here?)
  • More strawberries and balsamic vinegar
  • Ethiopian! Went to Etete around U Street and got the vegetarian platter. I didn't eat the injera; ate it with a fork, and it was great! It was cool to have Ethiopian food again for the first time. I had collards, carrots, lentils, split peas, cabbage, and about three pieces of potato - bad I know, but it was seriously three small blocks. I didn't eat them at first. I think next time I will request NO potatoes at all.
  • A protein shake again (mocha), trying to balance out the massive amount of fruit/veg I consumed today.
Weight Friday morning was 180.9. Weight Saturday morning? 185.3. Yes, the above food made me gain almost FIVE pounds in a day. And I don't feel any different; I don't feel heavier at all.

I did a couple workouts from the 21-Day Yoga Journal Challenge, the morning workout and the core workout. Clearly that was not enough to avoid massive weight gain, I suppose considering all the carbs I ate.

Why did I eat all this? I was super-stressed from work and at home all day. Terrible combination. I know I need to stop turning to food for comfort. It's a work in progress.

If You Bite It, Write It - January 20, 2011

  • Basic chocolate shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein (about 120 kcals, 23g protein, 2g net carbs, 2g fat), 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 3g fat), 1 tsp. SF/FF chocolate pudding mix (5 kcals, 1g carbs), 1 drop vanilla extract (3 kcals), 4 packets Truvia (1 kcal). Total - (169 kcals, 24g protein, 4g net carbs, 5g fat).
  • Pumpkin spice breakfast bundt cake (130 calories, 16.8g protein, 4.7g net carbs, 3.8g fat) with 2T Fage 0% (30 kcals, 5g protein, 2.3g carbs, 0g fat) and 5 packets of Splenda (15 kcals, 3g carbs). Total - (175 kcals, 21.8g protein, 10g net carbs, 3.8g fat).
  • Combo of hazelnut and regular decaf coffee with 5 Splendas (15 kcals, 3g carbs) and 1 packet of Coffeemate.
  • 1 cup Kale, Red Pepper, and Black-Eyed Pea Soup (91 kcals, 4.2g protein, 15.4g net carbs, 0.2 grams fat) over 100 grams spaghetti squash (27 kcals, 1g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat) and a 1.6-oz. baggie of baby carrots (16 kcals, 0.3g protein, 2.7g net carbs, 0g fat). Total - (134 kcals, 5.5g protein, 23.1g net carbs, 0.2g fat).
  • 1 Believe Smooth Chai Latte protein drink (110 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat) in a french presses of decaf Sumatra coffee and 1 packet Sbux decaf VIA with approximately 8 packets of Splenda (24 kcals, 6g carbs) and 1T lowfat Coffeemate (10 kcals). Total - (144 kcals, 18.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 6.5g fat).
  • 1 Bosc pear and 1 Boca cheeseburger patty (100 kcals, 13g protein, 2g net carbs, 4.5g fat).
  • ACKC decaf coffee with a drop of heavy cream. They didn't have half and half; I would have had to mix the milk and cream to make it. Oh well, it's a chocolate shop not a coffee shop. Still very fun to hang out there.
  • Pumpkin spice breakfast bundt cake (130 calories, 16.8g protein, 4.7g net carbs, 3.8g fat) and 400 grams strawberries with balsamic vinegar and 1/2 cup Splenda.
  • Late night - more spaghetti squash and kale soup - about 100 cals worth?
Weight Thursday morning was 181.0.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It: January 19, 2011

  • Strawberry-banana protein frosty: 1 scoop Matrix strawberry protein (about 110 kcals, 23g protein, 2g carbs, 1.5g fat), 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 3g fat), 1T SF/FF vanilla pudding mix (12 kcals, 3g carbs), 1 drop banana extract (5 kcals), 4 packets Truvia (1 kcal). Total - (168 kcals, 24g protein, 6g net carbs, 4.5g fat).
  • Pumpkin spice breakfast bundt cake (130 calories, 16.8g protein, 4.7g net carbs, 3.8g fat) with 2T Fage 0% (30 kcals, 5g protein, 2.3g carbs, 0g fat) and 5 packets of Splenda (15 kcals, 3g carbs). Total - (175 kcals, 21.8g protein, 10g net carbs, 3.8g fat).
  • 1 cup Kale, Red Pepper, and Black-Eyed Pea Soup (91 kcals, 4.2g protein, 15.4g net carbs, 0.2 grams fat) over 100 grams spaghetti squash (27 kcals, 1g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat). Total - (118 kcals, 5.2g protein, 20.4g net carbs, 0.2g fat).
  • 1 Good Grab chocolate Oh Yeah! (130 kcals, 18g protein, 2g carbs, 5g fat) in seven iced decaf shots of espresso from Sbux, plus 1T half and half (20 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g carbs, 1.5g fat). Total - (150 kcals, 18.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 6.5g fat).
  • 1 6 oz. Fage 0% with several Splendas (about 111 kcals, 15g protein, 14g carbs, 0g fat) with 1 pear (100 kcals, 1g protein, 21g net carbs, 1g fat). Total - (211 kcals, 16g protein, 35g carbs, 1g fat).
  • 150 grams sliced strawberries (49 kcals, 1g protein, 8.5g net carbs, 0g fat), 2T balsamic vinegar (20 kcals, 5g carbs), 6 packets Truvia (2 kcals). Total - (71 kcals, 1g protein, 13.5g net carbs, 0g fat).
Total:
893 calories
86.5 grams of protein
87.4 net grams of carbohydrate
16 grams of fat.
This morning, my weight was 183.0. So, a little down from yesterday (thank God.)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 18, 2011

  • Started the day with coffee; I ate so much spaghetti squash last night that I wasn't hungry for a while in the morning. One french press of decaf Caffe verona with 6 Splendas, 3 Truvias, and 2T lowfat Coffeemate. (29 kcals, 0g protein, 7g net carbs, 1g fat).
  • Mocha protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein (120 kcals, 23g protein, 2g carbs, 1.5g fat), about 1.5T SF/FF chocolate pudding mix (about 30 kcals, 6g carbs), about 2T cocoa powder (30 kcals, 2g protein, 2g carbs, 3g fat), 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 3g fat), 4 packets Truvia, 1 sleeve Nescafe decaf, ice. Total - (220 kcals, 26g protein, 11g carbs, 7.5g fat).
  • 2 Pumpkin Spice Breakfast Bundt Cakes (I'll link soon) (260 kcals, 33.6g protein, 9.4g net carbs, 7.6g fat) with 2T Fage 0% (30 kcals, 5g protein, 2.3g carbs, 0g fat) and maybe 3T SF maple syrup (about 16 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (306 kcals, 38.6g protein, 13.7g net carbs, 7.6g fat).
  • Starbucks venti decaf coffee with 2T half and half (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g carbs, 5g fat), 5 Splendas (15 kcals, 3g carbs), and 5 Truvias (1 kcal). Total - (59 kcals, 1g protein, 4g carbs, 5g fat).
  • 160 grams spaghetti squash (45 kcals, 1g protein, 8g net carbs, 0g fat) and 1.25 cups of my Kale, Red Pepper, and Black Bean Soup (I'll link soon)(114 kcals, 5.2g protein, 19.3g net carbs, 0.2g fat). Total - (159 kcals, 6.2g protein, 27.3g net carbs, 0.2g fat).
  • 150 grams sliced strawberries (49 kcals, 1g protein, 8.5g net carbs, 0g fat), 2T balsamic vinegar (20 kcals, 5g carbs), 4 packets Truvia and 1/4 cup Splenda (24 kcals, 6g carbs). Total - (93 kcals, 1g protein, 19.5g net carbs, 0g fat).
Approximate nutritional totals
863 calories
72.8 grams of protein
82.5 net grams of carbohydrates
21.3 grams of fat.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 17, 2011 - Non-Liquid Edition

Over the course of the day, I ate:

I'm posting this on Tuesday. Yesterday morning, before bringing the food back, I weighed 179.4. This morning, I weighed 184.7.  That's right - over a 5-pound gain in one day. Fortunately I didn't the liquid diet for a reset so I would stop binging, not for weight loss. It's disappointing to have such a drastic gain in one day, but not surprising.

Monday, January 17, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 16, 2011

Last day of liquid diet. Weird. Scary.

  • Banana coconut butter rum protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix vanilla protein, 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze, vanilla extract, banana extract, rum extract, coconut extract, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray, SF/FF white chocolate pudding mix, 4 packets Truvia, ice.
  • Choco-nana protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, cocoa powder, 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze, banana extract, SF/FF white chocolate pudding mix, 4 packets Truvia, ice.
  • Chocolate protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, cocoa powder, 1 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze, vanilla extract, SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, 4 packets Truvia, ice.
AFTER MIDNIGHT - Liquid diet over . . .
  • 1 sweet potato
  • Bowl of sliced fresh strawberries with cinnamon and Splenda

Sunday, January 16, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 12-15, 2011

I've written, but haven't posted because I was just jotting down the shakes without their ingredients. But I need to get caught up, so I'm going to post these without the additional information.

Wednesday
  • Mocha shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, 1 sleeve Nescafe decaf, 1 cup Hood Calorie Countdown Milk, Splenda, ice.
  • 1 Starbucks grande decaf coffee with half and half
  • About 1.5 french presses of coffee with lowfat Coffeemate
  • 1.5 dry scoops of Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein
  • Chocolate cheesecake shake
  • Chocolate cheesecake shake
Thursday
  • Mocha latte shake - no pudding mix!
  • 1 french press of decaf with 2 packets of Coffeemate
  • Believe Soothing CHai Tea Latte, heated
  • 1 hazelnut coffee with half and half
  • 1 Sbux decaf with half and half
  • Bananas foster protein shake
  • Cocoa coconut rum protein shake
Friday
  • Strawberry/chocolate shake. I made this after I made a crappy mocha shake that so gross I couldn't finish it.
  • Cosi decaf coffee with half and half
  • French pressed hazelnut coffee with Coffeemate and 1 8 oz. vanilla creme Oh Yeah! ready-to-drink protein
  • 1 Believe Soothing Chai Tea protein latte, heated
  • An iced coffee with Splenda and half and half. Probably too much.
  • Banana-coconut butter rum protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix vanilla protein; a tidbit of banana, coconut, and rum extracts; 1 cup Hood Calorie Countdown milk; Splenda and Truvia; 1 heaping spoonful of SF/FF vanilla pudding mix, ice.
  • Mint chocolate protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, 1 tiny drop of peppermint extract, 1 heaping spoonful of SF/FF vanilla pudding mix, 1 cup Almond Breeze unsweetened chocolate milk,
Saturday
  • Shake - crikey, don't remember which one
  • Strawberry-banana shake
  • Another blender shake, but yet again I don't remember what it was
  • Chocolate shake
  • Chocolate shake
I'm proud of myself for making it through Saturday night. I went to a gathering where there was a campfire with S'more stuff, and it's hard for me to turn down roasting marshmallows. Plus, one marshmallow is full of sugar but isn't, like, the path back to obesity. Also, roasted marshmallows are less thick than some of my blender shakes. But I decided that would be cheating and so I held off. Yay.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 11, 2011

As I said before, weird day on the 11th. I was working from home all day, but stressing, and it was bad news. The good news is, I didn't eat a bunch of food (although I did have a lot of calories considering that I barely moved all day except for a very short walk to the grocery store.)

I was up all night. I am not going to recap the details of what was in these shakes just so I can get this done and get back to work.

I also discovered that I might have an ULCER. ARGH. Apparently I haven't been diligent enough with taking my Pepcid. I am good with my vitamins generally, but I always thought the Pepcid was less important so i didn't worry about it. I had a HORRIBLE attack, of course last night when I really needed to focus. I emailed my surgeon the symptoms this morning and he confirmed that my failure to regularly take Pepcid could cause an ulcer even without other irritants. I hadn't realized that.
  • Cheesecake shake made with vanilla Matrix
  • Mocha shake
  • Chocolate cheesecake shake
  • Chocolate slushie made with unsweetened Almond Breeze, cocoa powder, ice, and Splenda - delish, reminiscent of this great chocolate sorbet I used to get in the olden days
  • Another chocolate slushie
  • 2 cups of vegetable broth seasoned with red pepper flake, oregano, and onion powder with 1 oz. fat-free cream cheese dissolved in
  • Over the course of the night, a whole box of chocolate Soy Slender with a few packets of Truvia

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 10, 2011

Weird day! And the 11th (when I'm actually posting this) is weird too. Work is stressing me out so the liquid diet has kind of taken a back seat - I'm on it, but it's not manifesting the same way it was initially. Also, I had a mini-binge on Tums.

Maybe it's kind of a breakthrough that I'm not really concerned about the liquid diet anymore. I feel like I could basically stay on it forever if I didn't care about trying a few new recipes. But now that work is stressing me out, I don't feel doubly stressed because I can't eat food.

  • Chocolate maple shake. You know the drill. Don't feel like writing out the ingredients since I'm so behind on my posting.
  • 2 french presses of Decaf Sumatra with about 1/2 cup lowfat Coffeemate (80 kcals and an ungodly amount of Splenda - maybe 35 packets? (105 kcals!). Sound the alarm!
  • 1 cup chocolate Soy Slender with 2 packets Splenda and 2 packets Truvia (76 kcals, 7g protein, 3g net carbs, 3g fat)
  • Another 1/2 cup chocolate Soy Slender with Splenda
  • 1 1/3 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder. I've found that I like this protein right out of the bag just as much or more than when it's mixed with milk or water
  • Cheesecake protein shake with 1 scoop Matrix vanilla, cheesecake pudding mix, vanilla extract, ice, Splenda, etc.

I stayed at work too late and am on some kind of procrastination station so I didn't work out. This is my first major challenge of 2011. I need to adopt better habits of meeting challenges head-on instead of avoiding them until the last possible moment. I also need to be more confident so I don't get into these situations!

Monday, January 10, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 9, 2011

Front matter
  • Weird but delicious shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, heaping tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 sleeve Nescafe decaf, 1 tsp. vanilla extract, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, SF/FF cheesecake and white chocolate pudding mixes, pinch of cardamom, cinnamon, and allspice.
  • 1 Oh Yeah! chocolate RTD split between several Sbux grande decaf coffees, all in my nifty reusable cup :-), along with 4T (1/4 cup) lowfat liquid Coffeemate
  • Another weird but delicious spiced shake: 1 scoop Matrix vanilla protein, heaping tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder, vanilla extract, maple extract, SF/FF butterscotch pudding mix, pinch of cinnamon, ginger, and allspice.
  • Another weird but delicious spiced shake: 1 scoop Matrix vanilla protein, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, heaping tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder, vanilla extract, maple extract, SF/FF butterscotch pudding mix, Splenda, pinch of cinnamon, cardamom, ginger, allspice, sea salt.
  • One more weird spiced shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, 1 cup Almond Breeze vanilla unsweetened almond milk, heaping tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder, Splenda, SF/FF butterscotch pudding mix, 1 sleeve Nescafe decaf, pinch of cinnamon, cardamom, and allspice. This one was not as good as the other two. I think I overdid the allspice and it was a weird flavor combo with the coffee.
Weight this morning was 179.8 (verified 3 times; the first time it said 178.4 and I had a feeling that was wrong.) Again, not getting too excited about it because I know it's mostly water loss - I'm having lots of liquids and not eating salt - but it's still encouraging just to see those numbers again. That's a nearly 10-pound loss in less than a week.

Exercise was about 45 minutes on the elliptical at the gym, and I cranked up the resistance and modified the inclines a lot for some serious cardio intensity.  I was drenched in sweat afterwards, just like the old days!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 8, 2011

A few months ago, I auditioned for a choir and it went horribly. I never heard back from them and didn't ask because I felt demoralized by the whole thing. Lo and behold, I got an email last night after 10 PM that said I'd been accepted and that rehearsal was this afternoon! I went to practice. Jury's still out on the experience.  They didn't even officially welcome the new members, and I didn't feel the esprit de corps I have on other choirs. I'll give this a few weeks and reconsider whether it's worth my time at that point.

Changing subjects, I did an official weigh-in for the first time since December 30, 2010. That morning I was 189.1, and I'm positive I gained up to 5 pounds while I was in South Carolina. This morning, I was 181.3.  I know it's not a "real" weight because I'll bounce back a bit once I get back on solids, but it's still a relief to be in my old comfort zone. (Though, one of my goals for this year is to push myself to get lower than 169.8 at least once, so 181.3 isn't good enough for that.)
  • Tasty chocolate cheesecake shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, 1 cup So Delicious coconut milk, heaping tsp. cocoa powder, SF/FF cheesecake pudding mix, ice, vanilla extract
  • About 3T FF half and half in a french press of decaf Caffe Verona
  • Interesting protein iced mocha: 1 french press of decaf Caffe Verona brewed double strength, several ice cubes, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, lots of Splenda, a smidge of vanilla extract. Really interesting.
  • More standard protein iced mocha: 1 sleeve Nescafe instant decaf, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, lots of Splenda, vanilla extract, maple extract, SF/FF white chocolate pudding mix, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, 1 cup So Delicious coconut milk,cocoa powder.
  • 1/4 cup lowfat Coffee Mate in a french press of Starbucks decaf Sumatra. Yuuuum. Can't decide whether I prefer Sumatra or Caffe Verona. Both are delicious.
  • 1 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein, heaping spoonful of SF/FF white chocolate protein mix, Splenda, ice, 1 cup So Delicious coconut milk.
I was planning on another shake, but thank to my sugar-free gum, I was too full for another shake.

I did make it to the gym today, surprisingly. A little less than 38 minutes on the elliptical at a higher intensity level than normal :)


If You Bite It, Write It - January 7, 2011

Today was tough, but not because of the liquids. I was just feeling bored, displaced, and a little lonely. Fortunately, I didn't/couldn't turn to food.
  • Cocoa cappuccino protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix vanilla protein, 1T SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, about 1.5T unsweetened cocoa powder, Splenda, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, ice, sprinkle of cinnamon.
  • 1 Good Grab vanilla creme Oh Yeah! RTD protein in 2 decaf coffees (Caffe Verona, made with my new french press!)
  • 1 Believe Italian cappuccino RTD protein in 2 decaf coffees, also a couple Ts fat-free half and half
  • "Almond Joy" protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, cocoa, few drops coconut extract, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, ice.
  • Another french press decaf Caffe Verona with FF half and half
  • 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, ice, vanilla extract, maple extract, SF/FF cheesecake pudding mix
I didn't exercise today :( I was just too out of it.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 6, 2011

Day 4, and smooth sailing. :-)

  • Protein mocha frapp: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, 1 sleeve Nescafe decaf, 1T cocoa powder, 1T chocolate pudding mix, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, ice
  • 1 8 oz. vanilla Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees
  • 1 8 oz. chocolate Oh Yeah! in 2 decaf coffees
  • 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, 1 scoop Matrix Strawberry protein, heaping spoonful of SF/FF white chocolate pudding mix, 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract, Splenda, lotsa ice
  • Chocolate-mint shake: 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, a couple drops of peppermint extract, 1 spoonful unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 spoonful SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, Splenda, ice.
I also tried something different at Starbucks today - vanilla rooibos tea. It was yummy, and a super-good alternative to coffee because it tastes good with a lot less Splenda than my usual coffee dosage.

I finally went back to the gym today instead of relying on Leslie Sansone - 35 minutes on the elliptical. Nothing super-impressive, but this is all about getting back to basics at this point.

If You Bite It, Write It - January 5, 2011

I'm starting to get to this beautiful point where I don't mind being on liquids. This is the sweet spot. That said, I am adding maybe too many calories to the shakes. I estimate today at being about 1300-1400 calories, which is kind of a lot.

I tried on clothes at Target today after work, and my belly is still making me upset. So many cute S/M dresses and coats, but the belly forces me to wear a L in many full-body pieces. My belly feels like a mutant. It's so much bigger than everything else on my body! I came home and oogled post-weight loss plastic surgery photos again.
  • Protein mocha frapp: 1 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze, heaping spoonful of SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, 1T unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, Splenda, Nescafe decaf, and ice.
  • Sbux decaf with half and half and 12 Splendas
  • 8 oz. chocolate Oh Yeah! RTD
  • Sbux decaf with half and half, 4 Truvias, and 6 Splendas
  • 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder in 1 cup vanilla Soy Slender and about 1/3 cup chocolate Soy Slender (the powder didn't all dissolve in the first cup of milk)
  • About 1 scoop dry Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder. I discovered that this powder tastes better dry than in shake form - but this definitely treads on the line when it comes to a "liquid diet." I don't think it totally crosses the line though, so not admonish myself just yet.
  • Cinnamon roll shake: 1 scoop Matrix vanilla, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, cinnamon, SF/FF cheesecake pudding mix, ice, Splenda
  • Chocolate maple shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, 1 cup combo of chocolate Almond Breeze, vanilla Soy Slender, and So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, heaping spoonful of cocoa powder, about 1T SF/FF chocolate pudding mix.
Went back to the trough of Leslie Sansone - "30 Minute Walk" DVD again. It was really, really questionable whether I was going to get anything in, so I'm happy to have done something. Plus, it's been so long that it actually makes me sweat and works my hip flexors well.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 4, 2011

Today was support group day. It was kinda boring. But I did hear my roommates talking about weight loss surgery tonight. They think Jennifer Hudson had lapband (whatever). One roommate called gastric bypass "stomach stapling" and lapband "the clamp." It could have been worse; they weren't directly hating on it, but still now I am even less likely to tell them I had surgery. The therapist I recently met with suggested that I share that information with them, but I don't think I want to. ::Sigh::

Day 2 of 2011 kickoff liquid diet. It went well and felt a lot more normal today, even though it makes me sad that it seems some of my online RNY friends aren't very supportive of this effort.

  • 1 cup unsweetened chocolate almond milk, 2 tsp. SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, 1T unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, 3 packets Truvia, 1 sleeve Nescafe decaf and several ice cubes (rich chocolate mocha shake - yum). Based on how craptastic I felt yesterday and because I decided to walk to work today, I decided to have a slightly carbier shake in the morning.
  • 1 cup vanilla Soy Slender with 1 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein and 1 packet Truvia (unnecessary, this was already too sweet!)
  • 1 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze with 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder
  • About 3T half and half in Sbux Pike (boo! regular! but I was running late and didn't want to wait for them to brew decaf)
  • 1 cup vanilla Soy Slender with 1 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein powder and about 1.5T white chocolate pudding mix and ice
  • Repeated AM protein mocha: 1 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze, heaping spoonful of SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, 1T unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, Splenda, Nescafe decaf, and ice.
Today's exercise was walking. I decided it would count because I walked fast and broke a sweat in the evening. I walked from home to work, from work to support group, and from support group home for a total of roughly 6.5 miles, large chunks of which were uphill.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

If You Bite It, Write It - January 3, 2011

My two-week liquid diet started today at 9 AM and will end on the morning of January 18.  The purpose of this New Year liquid diet is to get myself on a better foot, teaching myself that while I may enjoy eating nuts, bread, etc. that I don't need them, and to remind myself that I'm strong enough to beat the disease of obesity/food addiction.

I didn't start the liquid diet officially until 9 AM, so I'm starting the record with that (although I didn't actually have any shakes until 12:15 PM).  At 4 AM on the train I had some deli meat and at 7 AM or so I had my last sugar-free Dove dark chocolate.

Also, I'm making some changes -- changing the URL to this blog and its design. I feel like I'm moving into a new phase here. I met with a bariatric/eating disorder psychologist last Wednesday who gave me new hope; now I feel generally more positive about where this is all leading.  And it feels really good to have gotten through my first day on the liquid re-charge diet.

  • 1 Pure Protein Frosty Chocolate drink (170 kcals, 35g protein, 4g carbs, 1g fiber, 1g fat)
  • 2T half and half in Sbux Casi Cielo coffee
  • 1/2 14 oz. vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in Sbux decaf
  • 1/2 14 oz. vanilla creme Oh Yeah!, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, 1.5T cocoa, and 2 tsp. SF chocolate pudding mix with ice.
  • 1 cup unsweetened chocolate almond breeze, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, a little Splenda, 1.5T cocoa, and 2 tsp. SF cheesecake pudding mix with ice.
Required 30 minutes of cardio: Leslie Sansone 30-minute walk.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Final Check-in on 2010 Goals

Hi folks. It's been a while. I will catch you up on my progress (or lack thereof, or regression) when I have time.  In the meantime, it's become 2011 and I haven't checked back in on those goals yet.  I also need to set my 2011 goals.  I am not sure whether I'll have 50 in 2011, but I like this method overall.

WEIGHT, BODY SIZE & HEALTH

-Reach 188 pounds - an "overweight" BMI. MET. Though right now, I'm a couple pounds over that and back up in "obese" territory. It will only be a momentary stay. I've had issues with night binging the past month or two.
-Reach 154 pounds - a "normal" BMI. Not met at all and probably won't ever be met in this life.
-Maintain or get below 154 pounds at the end of the year. Totally didn't happen in any way, at all. I don't think my body will get that low in weight, though it should be lower than it is now.
-Wear a size Small shirt. MET (although I am in Mediums again right now - ARGH)
-Buy at least one bra from Victoria's Secret. MET, although VS doesn't make my size so now I get them from eBay.
-Unsubscribe from Lane Bryant's mailing list. MET.
-Get labs of my vitamin levels drawn at least once. MET, though I'd like to get it done again because my ferritin and Vitamin D were a little lower than I'd prefer.
-Revisit my surgeon for at least one check up. MET in early March, even though I never wrote up my recap. He was pleased with my weight progress.
-Go to the dentist for a teeth cleaning and go to the gyno. Not met.  I really need to go to the dentist.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY & ADVENTURE
-Complete the Couch to 5K program. Not met on purpose.
-Register for and complete at least 3 "races" of any length. Walking them is fine. Not met. I did the Charleston Cooper River Bridge Run and registered for the Outer Banks Half Marathon, but the people I was supposed to do Outer Banks with didn't get back to me, and I wasn't motivated enough to do it on my own. I think I'll revisit this goal for 2011.
-Go hiking at least 3 times. MET. Went twice at Carrick Creek at Table Rock and once at the Clemson Botanical Gardens.
-Go fishing at least once. MET! My family did this for my birthday.
-Go to a yoga studio, preferably for bikram or "hot" yoga, at least once. MET - and it has been glorious.
TRAVEL (none met. My September "travel time" wound up being focused on Michigan; I traveled up there with my grandmother to see my dying great aunt.)
-At least once, travel to a country I've never visited. Not met.
-Visit Los Angeles. Not met.
-Visit at least one state I've never been to, preferably Texas. Not met.

READING (This was a big flop.)
-Read Pierre Bourdieu, Distinction: A Social Critique of the Judgement of Taste. Not met.
-Read Frantz Fanon's The Wretched of the Earth (nope, I've never read it all the way through.) Not met.
-Read Mitchell Duneier's Sidewalk. Not met. Checked it out from Library, but didn't get through it. Wound up reading "Honky" by Dalton Conley instead.
-Read Mitchell Duneier's Slim's Table: Race, Respectability, and Masculinity. Not met.
-Read Katherine S. Newman & Victor Tan Chen, The Missing Class: Portraits of the Near Poor in America. Purchased, but only partially read.
-Read Katherine S. Newman, No Shame in My Game: The Working Poor in the Inner City. Not met.
-Read Mary Patillo's Black on the Block: The Politics of Race and Class in the City. Not met.
-Read William Julius Wilson, More Than Just Race: Being Black and Poor in the Inner City. MET.
-Read William Julius Wilson, The Truly Disadvantaged: The Inner City, the Underclass, and Public Policy. Checked out from the library and partially read, but not completed.
-Read William Julius Wilson & Richard P. Taub, There Goes the Neighborhood: Racial, Ethnic, and Class Tensions in Four Chicago Neighborhoods and Their Meaning for America. Not met.

PROFESSIONAL
-Finish revising my SAW for publication. Not met and I realized that I didn't want to meet it. That paper has little to do with my new research focus, so I don't see the point of moving forward with it at this time.
-Build my personal website. Well, I started a new food blog, but I think the actual personal website will make more sense once I'm back in grad school (provided that I get in).
-Take the GRE and score above 700 on verbal and at least 650 on quantitative. MET!
-Pass the MPRE. MET.
-Gain admission to graduate school and/or get an appellate clerkship. In August, I modified this goal to "Apply for graduate school."  I've applied to several schools: Chicago, Duke, Harvard (2 programs there), Michigan, Penn, and Princeton so far, and Yale is due today. So MET.
-During any gap of time between my clerkship and my next job, write and publish at least one op-ed or an LTE in a major newspaper. I actually did publish an op-ed in a major newspaper - the Washington Post - but not during the gap of time between clerkship and job. I published it with the blessing of my job. I think it counts. :)
-Develop a sharper research focus. Met.
-Finish article review for Professor Schuck and email it to him. Not met. The idea of sending in an assignment from May 2009 seems ridiculous at this point.

COOKING & EATING
-Cook with or eat 20 ingredients that I've never tried. MET.
-Write at least 15 new recipes. Completed. Mostly on my new blog, Audacity of Cooking.
-Go to McClellanville or similar coastal area to purchase fresh seafood. Not met. I just never got back down there. I was supposed to swing by en route from Charleston to Myrtle Beach in August, but wound up going back home from taking the MPRE and then going to Myrtle Beach directly from Columbia.
-Dine in at least one of the following New York restaurants: Brad Farmerie's Public, Seamus Mullen's Boqueria, Eric Ripert's Le Bernardin, Dan Barber's Blue Hill in Greenwich Village or at Stone Barns, Wylie Dufresne's WD-50, Daniel Humm's Eleven Madison Park, Anita Lo's Annisa (when repaired), Geoffrey Zakarian's Town, Alex Guernaschelli's Butter, Aaron Sanchez's Centrico, Floyd Cardoz's Tabla, or Gramercy Tavern. MET! Ate at Butter in March.
-Dine at Sean Brock's McCrady's in Charleston. MET. Wasn't as great as I'd hoped, but I was comparing it to my experience at John Besh's August and perhaps that wasn't fair.

CULTURE & COMMUNITY
-Continue volunteering at the shelter through September 2010. This was a bust. As I explained in my last check-in, I never heard back from the project manager after my last meeting with the ladies. I am pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong, but she was never the easiest to contact via email.  Perhaps I should have been more aggressive in reaching out to her, but I'd started to feel like I was more of a burden on them, like they wanted to keep me around but didn't really need me to drive anymore.
-Volunteer somewhere other than the shelter at least once. Oddly, I didn't do this unless you count volunteering for extra projects at work. Work is now a legal services office, so it was actually the same kind of work I would have completely volunteered to do. Plus, I did  a yoga training for working with homeless, overweight, mentally ill, and addicted communities that was built up around the idea of service - but I haven't volunteered anywhere yet. ::sigh:: looks like a fail.
-Watch all five seasons of The Wire. MET! And it was amazing. I am so glad I did this. Season 4 absolutely blew my mind; I am still haunted by it months later.
-Watch the Roots miniseries (nope, I've never seen it - no one revoke my "black card" please.) Yet again, I forgot about this. Shameful. I can't decide whether to add for 2011 or not?
-See at least two live theater shows. Not met. I forgot about this one.
OTHER
-Write at least ten relatively lengthy emails to catch up with friends/colleagues with whom I haven't spoken recently. Nope. Just one.
-Have at least 5 meaningful conversations about religion/faith/spirituality. Not really.
-Go to karaoke at least once. Yes! Finally, on the weekend of December 19th. It was so fun.
-Pay off my credit cards completely at least once (they may still have a balance at the end of 2010.) MET!
-Own my own car/get my current car off my mother's insurance. Not met, not on a fellowship salary . . .
 
Goals Completed: 23/50
Goals Deliberately Abandoned: 8
 
Weight, Body Size & Health Goals Met: 6/9
Physical Activity and Adventure Goals Met: 3/5
Travel Goals Met: 0/3
Reading Goals Met: 1/10
Professional Goals Met: 6/8
Cooking & Eating Goals Met: 4/5
Culture & Community Goals Met: 1/5
"Other" Goals Met: 2/5