I can't let this happen. I have to summon enough strength from somewhere to keep me from ruining and abusing this tool.
- Vanilla shake: 1/4 cup fat-free cottage cheese (one good trick I learned this weekend) (40 kcals, 7.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 0g fat) and 1/2 scoop Nectar vanilla bean torte protein (45 kcals, 11.5g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat) with 1 tbsp. SF/FF cheesecake Jello pudding mix (20 kcals, 4g net carbs), water, SF vanilla and dulce de leche syrups, and lotsa ice. Total - (105 kcals, 19g protein, 6.5g carbs, 0g fat).
- 2 hard-boiled eggs with Splenda-sweetened mustard (163 kcals, 12.6g protein, 3g carbs, 10g fat)
- Chocolate Extreme Smoothie (170 kcals, 35g protein, 5g net carbs, 0.5g fat) and probably 4 tbsp. peanut butter in a stress-induced compulsive eating episode (380 kcals, 16g protein, 10g net carbs, 32g fat). Grand total - (550 kcals, 51g protein, 15g net carbs, 32.5g fat).
- 1 Spinachy Chicken Burger (75 kcals, 12g protein, 3.5g net carbs, 0.5g fat) with 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), tomato (3 kcals, 0g net carbs) and salad greens (5 kcals, 0.5g net carbs). Total - (108 kcals, 16g protein, 6g net carbs, 0.5g fat). And then, probably 1 serving cocoa-roasted almonds (150 kcals, 6g protein, 3g net carbs, 13g fat). Grand total - (258 kcals, 22g protein, 9g net carbs, 13.5g fat).
- Cookies & cream protein frosty: 1/4 cup fat-free cottage cheese (40 kcals, 7.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 scoop Matrix cookies & cream protein (65 kcals, 11.5g protein, 2g carbs, 1g fat), DaVinci SF cookie dough syrup, 1 tbsp. SF/FF Jello cheesecake pudding mix (15 kcals, 3g carbs), and 1/2 cup water and ice. Total - (120 kcals, 19g protein, 5.5g net carbs, 1g fat).
- Chocolate-peanut butter protein frosty: 1/4 cup fat-free cottage cheese (40 kcals, 7.5g protein, 2.5g carbs, 0g fat), 1 scoop Inspire chocolate PB fudge protein powder (127 kcals, 26g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat), 1 tbsp. SF/FF Jello cheesecake pudding mix (20 kcals, 4g carbs), 1/2 tbsp. Hershey's natural cocoa (5 kcals, 0g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 0.3g fat). Total - (202 kcals, 33.5g protein, 10g net carbs, 1.3g fat).
- 15 Bariatric Advantage calcium chews, 13 raspberry and 2 chocolate (225 kcals, 37.5g net carbs) - yep, binge binge binge.
- 2 multivitamins (10 kcals, 2g carbs)
- 2 iron +C (10 kcals, 3g carbs)
Total:
1,643 calories (insane!)
157.1g protein
38.2% kcals from protein
91.5g net carbs (almost 40g from calcium!)
22.3% kcals from net carbs
58.3g fat
31.9% kcals from fat.
Exercise: Walk aerobics while watching Chopped on Food Network; the Ana Caban Intermediate Pilates DVD.
Mo,
ReplyDeleteI have missed seeing you on the BE site...or maybe you are there and I just miss your posts. I check your blog regularly, too. I'm worried about you...because you seem to be worried about yourself. I know you have mentioned OA but have you thought about individual therapy. I agree with what you posted today...you want to get a grip on this before you go too far. Don't let another day go by without doing something positive. I hope I'm not being too personal or pushy (read: bossy) but I figure if you're putting it out here, you think people might respond.
I wasn't a compulsive eater, just an over-eater but I sympathize. I imagine it's like a lot of compulsions...you know in your heart you don't want to do it but you can't stop. Would medication help? I'm thinking something like a med they give people to stop smoking?
Oh heck. I'll stop now. Keep writing. I enjoy your rants!
Teresa
Hi Teresa!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comment, and thanks for reading my blog! I didn't think my posts on BE were missed, so I appreciate that too. I still post on occasion, but I have some issues with the entanglement of product marketing and support on the board, particularly after an incident in December. So now, I'm spending most of my online support energies on Obesity Help's RNY board.
I think the last few days' out-of-control eating have a lot to do with hormones and STRESS. Individual therapy would probably be good, but I'm not in a financial situation right now to pay for it - plus, I know what I need to do but just haven't been doing it. I've been mentioning OA, but I only restarted the phone meetings two days ago. Yoga helps me a lot, and I should probably start developing a home practice to supplement my studio practice. Also, I need to start working through my books on compulsive eating, not just skimming them.
I hope that if I do those things and a lot more soul-searching, I can stay on-program and perhaps explore therapy in the future. And no more "free weekends"! Even if I can't count up what's in everything, I should at least log it.
Thanks again, Teresa! :)
Could I send my email address and we could keep in touch that way if you're using BE less? I hear you about the product marketing.
ReplyDeleteI like the say you really analyze things and think about them. Probably why I miss your posts.
Let me know...
Teresa