Twenty-Nine Goals for 2011

I drafted these back in January, but couldn't quite come up with enough (I planned on 30 but could only get 29!) But even though it's April, I still want to try to meet them as much as possible.  Better late than never!

Health

• Lose roughly 20 pounds (get back to 170 and be maintaining that weight at the end of 2011).
• Read at least three books on mindful eating/beating compulsive eating.
• Go to the dentist at least once.
• Go to primary care doctor in DC at least once more, and find a new primary care doctor in new city.
• Have vitamin levels checked and do follow-up with bariatric surgeon. - DONE
• Continue to attend regular bariatric support group whenever possible - must have really good excuses to skip.
• Give up or significantly reduce consumption of un-affirming foods: cashews, peanut butter, cookies, candies, and bread. If I could give up soda and rice, I can certainly eliminate these other foods. Limit almonds/cashews/pecans to once/month at most; limit pistachios and soy nuts to once/week at most.

Physical Activity & Adventure

• Find a regular yoga studio, a regular class, a regular teacher.
• Practice yoga asana at least once per week, at home or in a studio.
• Be able to get into and practice headstand against the wall (this one came to me in a dream, which was really weird because I never dream.)
• Go to Zumba at least twice.
• Register for and complete at least 2 "races" of any length. Walking them is fine.
• Go hiking at least 2 times.
• Go biking at least once.
• Go rock climbing!

Professional & Creative

• Publish at least two op-ed pieces.
• Cook with at least 10 new-to-me ingredients (I'm lowering the number because I cooked with such a wide array of ingredients last year.) - so far, beef tongue, fiddlehead ferns, daikon, turkey wings, rabbit, yellow carrots. Six down, four to go. 
• Update 4/21 - baby artichokes
• Take a pottery class.
• Join a choir. - DONE (Washington Performing Arts Society Men & Women of Gospel)

Interpersonal Connection

• Join an online dating community and actively participate at least once.
• Go speed dating at least once.
• Go on at least one "real date." (yeah, I'm that pathetic - one date in a whole year would be a breakthrough)
• Host at least 3 dinner parties inviting people from different sets of friends.
• Organize an apple-picking or similar fruit-picking trip.

Miscellaneous

• Volunteer - either a sustained volunteer opportunity or at least 5 single-shot volunteer opportunities.
• Go to karaoke at least once. - DONE
• Go dancing at least once (this is a physical activity I guess, but I'm listing it here anyway).
• Have a plastic surgery consultation.
• Develop a side hustle.
• Find an eating disorder therapist, a bariatric support group and either a Weight Watchers meeting or Overeaters Anonymous community in Boston.

If You Bite It, Write It - January 17, 2011 - Non-Liquid Edition

Over the course of the day, I ate:

• 4 small zucchini (dehydrated with salt, garlic powder, and smoked paprika)
• 3 asparagus and caramelized onion puffs
• A whole batch of flourless, sugar-free red velvet whoopie pies
• A bowl of fresh sliced strawberries with balsamic vinegar with Splenda
• Two heaping bowls of spaghetti squash with canned tomatoes/salsa, cilantro, and fennel fronds, and also with the kale soup I made for the week.

I'm posting this on Tuesday. Yesterday morning, before bringing the food back, I weighed 179.4. This morning, I weighed 184.7.  That's right - over a 5-pound gain in one day. Fortunately I didn't the liquid diet for a reset so I would stop binging, not for weight loss. It's disappointing to have such a drastic gain in one day, but not surprising.

If You Bite It, Write It - January 7, 2011

Today was tough, but not because of the liquids. I was just feeling bored, displaced, and a little lonely. Fortunately, I didn't/couldn't turn to food.

• Cocoa cappuccino protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix vanilla protein, 1T SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, about 1.5T unsweetened cocoa powder, Splenda, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, ice, sprinkle of cinnamon.
• 1 Good Grab vanilla creme Oh Yeah! RTD protein in 2 decaf coffees (Caffe Verona, made with my new french press!)
• 1 Believe Italian cappuccino RTD protein in 2 decaf coffees, also a couple Ts fat-free half and half
• "Almond Joy" protein shake: 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, cocoa, few drops coconut extract, 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, ice.
• Another french press decaf Caffe Verona with FF half and half
• 1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, ice, vanilla extract, maple extract, SF/FF cheesecake pudding mix

I didn't exercise today :( I was just too out of it.

If You Bite It, Write It - January 3, 2011

My two-week liquid diet started today at 9 AM and will end on the morning of January 18.  The purpose of this New Year liquid diet is to get myself on a better foot, teaching myself that while I may enjoy eating nuts, bread, etc. that I don't need them, and to remind myself that I'm strong enough to beat the disease of obesity/food addiction.

I didn't start the liquid diet officially until 9 AM, so I'm starting the record with that (although I didn't actually have any shakes until 12:15 PM).  At 4 AM on the train I had some deli meat and at 7 AM or so I had my last sugar-free Dove dark chocolate.

Also, I'm making some changes -- changing the URL to this blog and its design. I feel like I'm moving into a new phase here. I met with a bariatric/eating disorder psychologist last Wednesday who gave me new hope; now I feel generally more positive about where this is all leading.  And it feels really good to have gotten through my first day on the liquid re-charge diet.

• 1 Pure Protein Frosty Chocolate drink (170 kcals, 35g protein, 4g carbs, 1g fiber, 1g fat)
• 2T half and half in Sbux Casi Cielo coffee
• 1/2 14 oz. vanilla creme Oh Yeah! in Sbux decaf
• 1/2 14 oz. vanilla creme Oh Yeah!, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate protein, 1.5T cocoa, and 2 tsp. SF chocolate pudding mix with ice.
• 1 cup unsweetened chocolate almond breeze, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, a little Splenda, 1.5T cocoa, and 2 tsp. SF cheesecake pudding mix with ice.

Required 30 minutes of cardio: Leslie Sansone 30-minute walk.

Final Check-in on 2010 Goals

Hi folks. It's been a while. I will catch you up on my progress (or lack thereof, or regression) when I have time.  In the meantime, it's become 2011 and I haven't checked back in on those goals yet.  I also need to set my 2011 goals.  I am not sure whether I'll have 50 in 2011, but I like this method overall.

WEIGHT, BODY SIZE & HEALTH

-Reach 188 pounds - an "overweight" BMI. MET. Though right now, I'm a couple pounds over that and back up in "obese" territory. It will only be a momentary stay. I've had issues with night binging the past month or two.
-Reach 154 pounds - a "normal" BMI. Not met at all and probably won't ever be met in this life.
-Maintain or get below 154 pounds at the end of the year. Totally didn't happen in any way, at all. I don't think my body will get that low in weight, though it should be lower than it is now.
-Wear a size Small shirt. MET (although I am in Mediums again right now - ARGH)
-Buy at least one bra from Victoria's Secret. MET, although VS doesn't make my size so now I get them from eBay.
-Unsubscribe from Lane Bryant's mailing list. MET.
-Get labs of my vitamin levels drawn at least once. MET, though I'd like to get it done again because my ferritin and Vitamin D were a little lower than I'd prefer.
-Revisit my surgeon for at least one check up. MET in early March, even though I never wrote up my recap. He was pleased with my weight progress.
-Go to the dentist for a teeth cleaning and go to the gyno. Not met.  I really need to go to the dentist.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY & ADVENTURE
-Complete the Couch to 5K program. Not met on purpose.
-Register for and complete at least 3 "races" of any length. Walking them is fine. Not met. I did the Charleston Cooper River Bridge Run and registered for the Outer Banks Half Marathon, but the people I was supposed to do Outer Banks with didn't get back to me, and I wasn't motivated enough to do it on my own. I think I'll revisit this goal for 2011.
-Go hiking at least 3 times. MET. Went twice at Carrick Creek at Table Rock and once at the Clemson Botanical Gardens.
-Go fishing at least once. MET! My family did this for my birthday.
-Go to a yoga studio, preferably for bikram or "hot" yoga, at least once. MET - and it has been glorious.
TRAVEL (none met. My September "travel time" wound up being focused on Michigan; I traveled up there with my grandmother to see my dying great aunt.)
-At least once, travel to a country I've never visited. Not met.
-Visit Los Angeles. Not met.
-Visit at least one state I've never been to, preferably Texas. Not met.

READING (This was a big flop.)
-Read Pierre Bourdieu, Distinction: A Social Critique of the Judgement of Taste. Not met.
-Read Frantz Fanon's The Wretched of the Earth (nope, I've never read it all the way through.) Not met.
-Read Mitchell Duneier's Sidewalk. Not met. Checked it out from Library, but didn't get through it. Wound up reading "Honky" by Dalton Conley instead.
-Read Mitchell Duneier's Slim's Table: Race, Respectability, and Masculinity. Not met.
-Read Katherine S. Newman & Victor Tan Chen, The Missing Class: Portraits of the Near Poor in America. Purchased, but only partially read.
-Read Katherine S. Newman, No Shame in My Game: The Working Poor in the Inner City. Not met.
-Read Mary Patillo's Black on the Block: The Politics of Race and Class in the City. Not met.
-Read William Julius Wilson, More Than Just Race: Being Black and Poor in the Inner City. MET.
-Read William Julius Wilson, The Truly Disadvantaged: The Inner City, the Underclass, and Public Policy. Checked out from the library and partially read, but not completed.
-Read William Julius Wilson & Richard P. Taub, There Goes the Neighborhood: Racial, Ethnic, and Class Tensions in Four Chicago Neighborhoods and Their Meaning for America. Not met.

PROFESSIONAL
-Finish revising my SAW for publication. Not met and I realized that I didn't want to meet it. That paper has little to do with my new research focus, so I don't see the point of moving forward with it at this time.
-Build my personal website. Well, I started a new food blog, but I think the actual personal website will make more sense once I'm back in grad school (provided that I get in).
-Take the GRE and score above 700 on verbal and at least 650 on quantitative. MET!
-Pass the MPRE. MET.
-Gain admission to graduate school and/or get an appellate clerkship. In August, I modified this goal to "Apply for graduate school."  I've applied to several schools: Chicago, Duke, Harvard (2 programs there), Michigan, Penn, and Princeton so far, and Yale is due today. So MET.
-During any gap of time between my clerkship and my next job, write and publish at least one op-ed or an LTE in a major newspaper. I actually did publish an op-ed in a major newspaper - the Washington Post - but not during the gap of time between clerkship and job. I published it with the blessing of my job. I think it counts. :)
-Develop a sharper research focus. Met.
-Finish article review for Professor Schuck and email it to him. Not met. The idea of sending in an assignment from May 2009 seems ridiculous at this point.

COOKING & EATING
-Cook with or eat 20 ingredients that I've never tried. MET.
-Write at least 15 new recipes. Completed. Mostly on my new blog, Audacity of Cooking.
-Go to McClellanville or similar coastal area to purchase fresh seafood. Not met. I just never got back down there. I was supposed to swing by en route from Charleston to Myrtle Beach in August, but wound up going back home from taking the MPRE and then going to Myrtle Beach directly from Columbia.
-Dine in at least one of the following New York restaurants: Brad Farmerie's Public, Seamus Mullen's Boqueria, Eric Ripert's Le Bernardin, Dan Barber's Blue Hill in Greenwich Village or at Stone Barns, Wylie Dufresne's WD-50, Daniel Humm's Eleven Madison Park, Anita Lo's Annisa (when repaired), Geoffrey Zakarian's Town, Alex Guernaschelli's Butter, Aaron Sanchez's Centrico, Floyd Cardoz's Tabla, or Gramercy Tavern. MET! Ate at Butter in March.
-Dine at Sean Brock's McCrady's in Charleston. MET. Wasn't as great as I'd hoped, but I was comparing it to my experience at John Besh's August and perhaps that wasn't fair.

CULTURE & COMMUNITY
-Continue volunteering at the shelter through September 2010. This was a bust. As I explained in my last check-in, I never heard back from the project manager after my last meeting with the ladies. I am pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong, but she was never the easiest to contact via email.  Perhaps I should have been more aggressive in reaching out to her, but I'd started to feel like I was more of a burden on them, like they wanted to keep me around but didn't really need me to drive anymore.
-Volunteer somewhere other than the shelter at least once. Oddly, I didn't do this unless you count volunteering for extra projects at work. Work is now a legal services office, so it was actually the same kind of work I would have completely volunteered to do. Plus, I did  a yoga training for working with homeless, overweight, mentally ill, and addicted communities that was built up around the idea of service - but I haven't volunteered anywhere yet. ::sigh:: looks like a fail.
-Watch all five seasons of The Wire. MET! And it was amazing. I am so glad I did this. Season 4 absolutely blew my mind; I am still haunted by it months later.
-Watch the Roots miniseries (nope, I've never seen it - no one revoke my "black card" please.) Yet again, I forgot about this. Shameful. I can't decide whether to add for 2011 or not?
-See at least two live theater shows. Not met. I forgot about this one.
OTHER
-Write at least ten relatively lengthy emails to catch up with friends/colleagues with whom I haven't spoken recently. Nope. Just one.
-Have at least 5 meaningful conversations about religion/faith/spirituality. Not really.
-Go to karaoke at least once. Yes! Finally, on the weekend of December 19th. It was so fun.
-Pay off my credit cards completely at least once (they may still have a balance at the end of 2010.) MET!
-Own my own car/get my current car off my mother's insurance. Not met, not on a fellowship salary . . .
 
Goals Completed: 23/50
Goals Deliberately Abandoned: 8
 
Weight, Body Size & Health Goals Met: 6/9
Physical Activity and Adventure Goals Met: 3/5
Travel Goals Met: 0/3
Reading Goals Met: 1/10
Professional Goals Met: 6/8
Cooking & Eating Goals Met: 4/5
Culture & Community Goals Met: 1/5
"Other" Goals Met: 2/5

What I Ate: November 22, 2010

I'm getting back on track after a full weekend of sugar craziness. More on that later.

• Vanilla spice protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix vanilla protein powder (55 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1g carbs, 0.8g fat), 2 tsp. FF/SF vanilla pudding mix (10 kcals, 2g carbs), 1/2 scoop 1% cottage cheese (81 kcals, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat), 1 tsp. ground flaxseed (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0g NET carbs, 0.7g fat), maple extract, about 1 tsp. each cinnamon and allspice (12 kcals, 1.4g net carbs), 1/2 tsp. nutmeg (6 kcals, 0.3g net carbs), 1/4 tsp. ground cardamom, 1/4 tsp. ground ginger. Total - (174 kcals, 26g protein, 7.7g net carbs, 1.5g fat).
• Sbux decaf with 2T half and half (40 kcals, 0.8g protein, 1g carbs, 3.4g fat), 5 Truvias (2 kcals), and 4 Splendas (12 kcals, 3g carbs.) Total - (54 kcals, 0.8g protein, 4g carbs, 3.4g fat).
• 1 serving pasta-less lasagna (about 158 kcals, 18.3g protein, 9.6g net carbs, 3.1g fat).
• Sbux coffee with 3T half & half (60 kcals, 1.2g protein, 1.5g carbs, 5.1g fat), 5 Truvias (2 kcals), and 4 Splendas (12 kcals, 3g carbs). Total - (74 kcals, 1.2g protein, 4.5g carbs, 5.1g fat).
• 1 serving pasta-less lasagna (about 158 kcals, 18.3g protein, 9.6g net carbs, 3.1g fat).
• Egg-white omelet: 3 egg whites (48 kcals, 10.8g protein, 0.6g carbs, 0.2g fat); 2 slices turkey bacon (80 kcals, 10g protein, 2g carbs, 2g fat); about 30 grams butternut squash (14 kcals, 0.2g protein, 2.8g net carbs, 0g fat), about 100 grams spaghetti squash (28 kcals, 0.6g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat), about 20 grams onion (8 kcals, 0.2g protein, 1.4g carbs, 0g fat), about 10 grams elephant garlic (14 kcals, 0.6g protein, 2.8g carbs, 0g fat), a sprinkle of parsley. Total - (about 192 kcals, 22.4g protein, 14.6g net carbs, 2.2g fat).
• Chocolate spice protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix perfect chocolate protein powder (60 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 1g fat), 1 tbsp. Hershey's regular cocoa (10 kcals, 1g net carbs), 2 tsp. SF/FF chocolate Jello pudding mix (10 kcals, 2g carbs), 1 tsp. ground flax (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0g NET carbs, 0.7g fat), 1/2 scoop 1% cottage cheese (81 kcals, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat), sprinkle of cinnamon, ginger, allspice (5 kcals), 5 packets Truvia (2 kcals). Total - (178 kcals, 26g protein, 7.5g carbs, 2.7g fat).

Total:
988 calories
113 grams of protein
57.5 NET grams of carbohydrate
21.1 grams of fat.

Walked 2.7 miles to work, then did an intermediate yoga class at Quiet Mind tonight. I took the bus most of the way home which was supposedly going to save time so I could make yoga class, but it turns out I would have gotten home faster just walking the whole way! I don't miss taking the bus at all.

What I Ate: November 14, 2010

• Vanilla-strawberry protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein powder (55 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1g carbs, 0.8g fat), 2 tsp. FF/SF vanilla pudding mix (10 kcals, 2g carbs), 1/2 scoop 1% cottage cheese (81 kcals, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat), 1 tsp. vanilla extract (12 kcals), 2T Splenda granular (12 kcals, 3g carbs). Total - (170 kcals, 25.5g protein, 9g net carbs, 1.8g fat).
• About 2.5 oz. raw cashews after church
• Roast chicken, spinach, and baked beans from James Hoban's Irish restaurant in Dupont Circule. Met some girls there for brunch. I shouldn't have ordered anything; should have just concentrated on the company. First off, I wasn't hungry. Second, I should have known the food would be terrible - it's an Irish pub and I know Irish pubs well enough to know they aren't known for their cooking. The roasted chicken sounded like it was going to taste good because of the sage, but it was way undersalted and overcooked (breast was soooo dry.) Also, I asked them to omit the potatoes, but potatoes were ALL OVER the plate. But brunch was fun anyway.
• Nibbles at the Metropolitan Cooking & Entertaining Show. I went to see Paula Deen live. At the end of the expo, I tasted a bunch of little things on the theory that this was a one-time event. I had tiny tastes of all kinds of stuff - Grand Marnier/chocolate pecan, white chocolate pecan, amaretto pecans, Paula Deen's seafood dip on a cracker, some random pumpkin cake, these utterly delicious fruit preserves on bread, these weird cookies that were designed to pair with wines (in flavors like apricot/sage, peanut butter chocolate, salted something, rosemary, espresso, etc.), sweet potato bread . . . hmm, I think that was it.
• Sbux decaf with SF hazelnut syrup, 5 Truvias (2 kcals), and 5 Splendas (15 kcals, 4g carbs). Total - (17 kcals, 4g carbs).
• Sbux decaf with SF hazelnut syrup, 5 Truvias (2 kcals), 4 Splendas (12 kcals, 3g carbs), and 3T half & half (60 kcals, 1.6g protein, 1.5g carbs, 5.2g fat). Total - (74 kcals, 1.6g protein, 4.5g carbs, 5.2g fat).
• Ungodly amount of cashews! This time, roasted and salted . . . ARGH.

Weight this morning: 179.2. Uptick deserved between Pouch Party binging and Starbucks cashews. Also, I am in PAIN from the Ashtanga yoga class, so my body might also be retaining a little water due to muscle fatigue. I was expecting worse.

Exercise was walking all over DC (5.8 miles): from home to church, to the Farmers' Market, to brunch, to the food expo, and then back home.

What I Ate: November 5, 2010

I'm starting to really see why I regained those 18 pounds. When I don't fully plan my day, I eat a heck of a lot of food! Not because I can physically eat a lot - I can't - but I'm sometimes eating things that are calorically dense like eggs and nuts. I've also been ingesting a million calories a day from Splenda! In addtion, I've been staying up too late in recent weeks, which has always resulted in eating more.

This day was terrible nutritionally, but I at least I see the types of things I'm doing wrong.

• Vanilla-strawberry protein shake: Vanilla strawberry protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein powder (55 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1g carbs, 0.8g fat), 2 tsp. FF/SF vanilla pudding mix (10 kcals, 2g carbs), 1/2 scoop 1% cottage cheese (81 kcals, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat), 1 tsp. vanilla extract (12 kcals), 2T Splenda granular (12 kcals, 3g carbs). Total - (170 kcals, 25.5g protein, 9g net carbs, 1.8g fat).
• Starbucks bold (caffeinated) with 2T half and half (40 kcals, 0.8g protein, 1g carbs, 3.4g fat), 4 Splendas (12 kcals, 3g carbs)
• Cashew attack. Well, not really. I actually affirmatively decided to eat these. I'm guessing about 2.5 oz.? (390 kcals, 13g protein, 19g carbs, 31g fat)
• 2 portabella mushroom caps (44 calories, 2g protein, 8g carbs, 0g fat), 2 large hardboiled eggs (144 kcals, 12.6g protein, 0.8g carbs, 10g fat), and mustard Q sauce (about 15 kcals, 2g carbs). Total - (203 kcals, 14.6g protein, 10.8g carbs, 10g fat). I definitely overate here. Would have been very satisfied with just one of the mushrooms and eggs!
• Starbucks decaf with 3T half and half (60 kcals, 1.6g protein, 1.5g carbs, 5.2g fat), 10 pumps of SF vanilla syrup, 3 Splendas (9 kcals, 2g carbs)
• 1 serving (120 grams) homemade chili con carne (149 kcals, 16g protein, 6g net carbs, 5.5g fat) with 8 medium steamed shrimp (56 kcals, 10.6g protein, 0.8g fat). Total - (205 kcals, 26.6g protein, 6g net carbs, 6.3g fat).
• Starbucks decaf with 2T half and half (40 kcals, 0.8g protein, 1g carbs, 3.4g fat), 8 Truvias (3 kcals), 4 Splendas (12 kcals, 3g carbs). Total - (55 kcals, 0.8g protein, 4 carbs, 3.4g fat).
• Chocolate-maple protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix perfect chocolate protein powder (60 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 1g fat), 1 tbsp. Hershey's regular cocoa (10 kcals, 1g net carbs), 2 tsp. SF/FF chocolate Jello pudding mix (10 kcals, 2g carbs), 1/2 scoop 1% cottage cheese (81 kcals, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat), 1 tsp. vanilla extract, 1/2 tsp. maple flavoring, 3T Splenda granular (18 kcals, 5g carbs). Total - (179 kcals, 25.5g protein, 12.5g net carbs, 2g fat).
• Over the course of the night, 3 of a new cannelini bean-based red velvet cupcake (336 kcals, 16.5g protein, 21g net carbs, 17.4g fat). OOPS. This is why it would have been better for me to keep a running tally of my calories instead of totalling them up only after the fact. I actually had no idea I'd had so many calories during the rest of the day. I guess getting back into tracking, given my slightly different food needs now, is harder than I thought. This is probably why I had the regain in the first place . . .

Weight Friday morning: 182.6.
Work is insane (but insanely fun) right now, so I didn't get a chance to get to the gym. But I did walk the over 2.5 miles back from work, so that's at least something (I try to do that on days that I have to miss the gym.)

I miss yoga!!! I haven't been in over a week now and, while of course I could practice at home, I miss going to a studio. I just haven't had the time.

What I Ate: November 4, 2010

Already, I've gotten a smidge off-track, thanks to cashews! I'm so weak around them. I was quite stressed at work and stayed till after 11 PM, so I went to CVS and got a small canister of cashews. Yeah. That didn't go so well . . .

• 1 serving (120 grams) homemade chili con carne (149 kcals, 16g protein, 6g net carbs, 5.5g fat) and large hard-boiled egg (72 kcals, 6.3g protein, 0.4g carbs, 5g fat). Total - (221 kcals, 22.3g protein, 6.4g carbs, 10.5g fat)
• Vanilla strawberry protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein powder (55 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1g carbs, 0.8g fat), 2 tsp. FF/SF vanilla pudding mix (10 kcals, 2g carbs), 1/2 scoop 1% cottage cheese (81 kcals, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat), 1 tsp. vanilla extract, about 1/4 cup Splenda granular (24 kcals, 6g carbs). Total - (170 kcals, 25.5g protein, 12g net carbs, 1.8g fat).
• Starbucks decaf with 2T half and half (40 kcals, 0.8g protein, 1g carbs), 4 packets Truvia (1 kcals), 6 packets Splenda (18 kcals, 4.5g carbs). Total - (58 kcals, 0.8g protein, 5.5g carbs, 0g fat).
• Delicious wrap: 1 Flatout Light (90 kcals, 7g protein, 9g net carbs, 3.5g fat) with 8 medium steamed shrimp (56 kcals, 10.6g protein, 0.8g fat), 2 slices Hormel Natural deli chicken (34 kcals, 7.3g protein, 0g carbs, 0.7g fat), 40 grams tomato (8 kcals, 0.4g protein, 1.2g carbs, 0g fat), 10 grams onion (4 kcals, 0.7g net carbs), and 1.5T mustard BBQ sauce (about 15 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (207 kcals, 25.3g protein, 13.7g carbs, 5g fat).
• Starbucks Thanksgiving Blend (uh oh . . .) with 2.5T half and half (50 kcals, 1g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 3.4g fat), 6 packets Splenda (18 kcals, 4g carbs) (got SF vanilla syrup)
• Salad with about 1.5 cups mustard lettuce (15 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat), 2 slices turkey bacon (80 kcals, 10g protein, 2g carbs, 2g fat), 33 grams portabella mushroom (22 calories, 1g protein, 4g carbs, 0g fat), 30 grams French breakfast radishes (6 kcals, 0g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 0g fat), and mustard BBQ sauce (about 10 kcals, 1g carbs). Total - (133 kcals, 13g protein, 8.5g carbs, 2g fat).
• Bariatric Advantage chocolate calcium chews mini-binge (about 225 kcals, 22.5g net carbs)
• A ton of cashews
• 1 serving (120 grams) homemade chili con carne (149 kcals, 16g protein, 6g net carbs, 5.5g fat).

Weight Thursday morning: 184.7.

What I Ate: September 30 - October 2, 2010

Weird last three days. I might have to go back to measurement. My weight is creeping up!

Basically, I've been making two big mistakes. (1) I've been eating the right foods, but probably too much of them. Even the nuts aren't rescuing me. (2) I've been eating very little through the day, but eating a lot at night. (1) is a much bigger issue than (2), but (2) makes me feel gross so I consider that a problem as well.

On Thursday, I had a protein frosty in the morning and at night. Through the day, I ate soynuts, raw cashews, and a few almonds, plus half and half in my decaf coffee. I also had a pouch of Starkist tuna before bed.

On Friday, I had a protein frosty in the morning and at night. I had half and half in my coffee, and a few ounces of almonds. I also ate some of the okra, corn, and tomatoes my grandmother canned for me with 1 Light Flatout.

On Saturday, I had a protein frosty in the morning and half and half in decaf coffees. But then I didn't actually eat anything else until about 4 pm, and I definitely had gotten the shaky cold sweats. :( I was walking to Whole Foods which is pretty far from my house, and I guess my body couldn't take the activity with the lack of food. I decided I would eat a few raw cashews once I got to the store. But in my shakiness and slight disorientation/panic, I bought WAY too many, like a half pound! Of course I ate them all by the time the day was over. I also ate too much roasted chicken (I roasted it for the week, and my taste test turned into a full on meal) and had a couple spoonfuls of a creamy chicken and broccoli soup I also made for the week. I also had more roasted chicken breast with 1 sundried tomato light Flatout. So again, the problem was not what I ate, it was apparently how much I was eating.

I will admit I didn't get to work out on Thursday or Friday. Work was very hectic on Thursday, and I went in early both days to finish an assignment. I planned to go to yoga after work on Friday, but I was 5 minutes late. (I love the bus, but it was very aggravating that day.)

On Saturday, however, in addition to walking a ton, I tried Ashtanga yoga for the first time. The class was taught by Antonella at Quiet Mind Yoga. I could tell she was a little taken aback by the number of new faces, and she warned us that it was an advanced class and that she wouldn't slow down. (I had no idea this class was "advanced" before I arrived; the class title is simply "Ashtanga" and there's no mention of "advanced" in the description, so I assumed it was all levels.) At any rate, I loved this class. It wasn't so fast that I couldn't keep up. Plus, I usually enjoy a bit of a challenge in yoga. There were several poses I couldn't do, but that was true for lots of people in the class, even some of the obvious old-timers. We did a few poses that I love, including Wheel, Plow, and Shoulderstand. I had an awesome time and plan to dabble in a little more Ashtanga.

This is an aside, but even with my stupid weight issues, I'm still feeling pretty awesome. It is simply amazing to be able to do all the physical things I can do now. I am still ultra-thankful for my RNY.

Update on the Last Half of August 2010

As you can tell, the blog went on hiatus for a couple weeks. I've learned a great deal during that time. If anyone's been concerned that I've "fallen off the wagon" in any way - don't. In fact, I weigh a little less today than I did 2 weeks ago.

Weight and Food Tracking
On the morning of August 15, my weight was 178.0. That was up a little more than 8 pounds from my lowest weight of 169.8. You see my food logs from that time - no, I wasn't doing anything that should have caused weight gain. I attribute it to hormones.

This morning, I was 176.7. This whole time, I've been between 176.0 and 178.0. So, the weight is holding steady, which is all I'm aiming for at this point (I need to write a separate post about the purgatory between loss phase and maintenance phase.) But anyway, no cause for alarm w/r/t the scale.

Apparently (at least right now when my routine and habits are relatively stable), I don't need to count every macronutrient every day in order to maintain my weight. As long as I keep track of what I'm eating and make sure the protein is high, the carbs are low, and the fat is reasonable, I can maintain my weight loss.

I'm going to try tracking every bite, but without all the nutritional analysis. This is basically what I did at the beginning of this blog; then I slowly started tracking other things. A few weeks after surgery, I realized my proteins were too low, so I started tracking calories and protein. It wasn't until October 21, 2009, over six months after surgery, that I started tracking carbs. On December 1, 2009, shortly after a particularly horrible gall bladder attack (I'm assuming that's what it was, since I never bothered to get the scan), I started tracking fat. I said I was only going to do it for the "next few weeks," but I wound up tracking fat for the next 9+ months.

I guess it all comes full circle. At least for right now, I'm not going to track macronutrients. I'm not worried about getting enough protein, as I continue to have 2-4 protein supplements a day in addition to eating high-protein, and relatively low-carb meals. BUT - if I notice repercussions on the scale, or if I start allowing more bad habits to creep in because of this change, I'll go back to a more detailed form of tracking.

Yoga
I hurt my wrist trying to do crane pose at Greenville Yoga (formerly known as North Main Yoga) on Saturday:

Yeah, mine didn't look like that so much.

-

I'm slowly preparing myself to say goodbye to my beloved City Yoga. I took my last Sunday morning class with the founder of the studio this past Sunday. The yogis and yoginis of City Yoga have apparently taught me well: When I was visiting Greenville Yoga this weekend, the teacher could tell from my practice that I normally study an alignment-focused style of yoga (Iyengar and Anusara are generally very alignment-focused.) It was awesome to feel like my asana practice is reflecting what I've learned from my teachers. I am thankful to the teachers at City Yoga, particularly Annie, Stacey, and Dara, for helping me build the foundations of my yoga practice.

Food
I broke my blender after just a few months of protein frosties. I went out immediately that day and bought a new one, the same make and model as the old one. Perhaps I should have gotten something sturdier and more expensive, but I've grown attached to this specific type of blender.

My biggest struggle over the past couple of weeks of not tracking has been - you guessed it - avoiding compulsive eating. This challenge has been exacerbated by the fact that I've been going to bed later than usual, sometimes even 2 AM on a weeknight (which has impacted my cardio exercise schedule.) I have eaten some things that people consider "bad" - I did a cupcake sampling with full sugar cupcakes from a local bakery, never eating all of any cupcake, but tasting 13 of them. I ate some sugar-free chocolates, chocolate Goldfish crackers, plantain chips, even a few pretzel M&Ms. With the exception of the Goldfish crackers, I was successfully able to eat a few bites and toss the rest. I'm less worried about my forays with sugar/carbs than I am about my ongoing propensity to overeat. For example, yesterday, I gorged myself with raw cashews. I also had a few plantain chips, less than 1/3 of a bag. I am not worried about the plantain chips, but my inability to stop eating past the point of fullness is frightening. I will continue to work on this, as I surely will be for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I've made some pretty awesome WLS-friendly dinners over the past couple of weeks. Here are some of the goodies I've been enjoying:

Support Group
Last Tuesday, August 24 was my last WLS support group meeting in this town. The group gave me an angel pin as a going away gift/good luck token. They typically give them to people at their last meeting before surgery, but because I didn't have surgery here, I didn't have one. It was so sweet of the group leader to make sure I got an angel emblem as I head off on my new journey; it really made me feel a full part of the group. I will miss these folks.

There is a group at GW Hospital in DC that meets with about the same regularity, so I hope to build a nice community there.

What I Ate: August 10, 2010

• Mint chocolate protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Nectar chocolate truffle protein powder (50 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1g carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese (80 kcals, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat), 1 tbsp. Hershey's unsweetened dark cocoa (15 kcals, 1g net carbs), Splenda, SF chocolate syrup. Total - (145 kcals, 26.5g protein, 7g carbs, 0g fat).
• 1/4 cup half and half split between 2 Starbucks decaf coffees (78 kcals, 1.8g protein, 2.6g net carbs, 7g fat). Sbux messed up my coffee this morning, giving me a cup of coffee with about 1/4 cup of coffee grounds in the bottom. Shameful! So I went back, got a free refill, got one of those free drink cards for disgruntled people, AND got a Sbux gift card sent to me because I contacted the regional manager. It was pretty awesome. Gotta love that Starbucks customer service. Because I'm neurotic, I took a photo of the extreme coffee grounds:

• 1 frosty chocolate Pure Protein shake in 4 decaf coffees (170 kcals, 35g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat).
• 1/2 cup whole milk in Sbux iced sugar-free vanilla quad espresso (76 kcals, 4g protein, 6g carbs, 4g fat).
• Vanilla bean cheesecake protein frosty: 1/2 scoop About Time birthday cake protein powder (52 kcals, 12.5g protein, 0g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese (80 kcals, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat), 1 T. SF/FF cheesecake pudding mix (15 kcals, 3g carbs), Splenda, vanilla extract. Total - (147 kcals, 27.5g protein, 8g carbs, 0g fat). This didn't turn out as yummy as I expected it to be. Oh well.
• Indian-spiced eggplant pancakes with sardine mousse: 2 oz. canned sardines packed in spring water (73 kcals, 13g protein, 0g carbs, 2g fat), 97 grams eggplant (24 kcals, 1g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 cup pasteurized egg whites -- 1/4 cup whipped to soft peaks, the other 1/4 cup used to make eggplant patties (60 kcals, 12g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 38 grams onion, some for mousse, some for pancakes (15 kcals, 0.4g protein, 2.9g net carbs, 0g fat), plus various seasonings - lemon juice, smoked paprika, garlic powder, thyme, garam masala, onion powder, curry powder (about 15 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (187 kcals, 26.4g protein, 9.9g net carbs, 2g fat). This was crazy! I want to find a way to make the mousse fluffier, but other than that, it was shockingly yummy.
• Another mint chocolate protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix perfect chocolate protein powder (60 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 1g fat), 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese (80 kcals, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat), 1 tbsp. Hershey's unsweetened Special Dark cocoa (15 kcals, 1g net carbs), DaVinci SF peppermint syrup. Total - (155 kcals, 26.5g protein, 7.5g carbs, 1g fat).

Total:
958 calories
147.7g protein
61.7% kcals from protein
44g net carbs
18.4% kcals from net carbs
15g fat (don't seem to get much fat in without nuts.)
14.1% kcals from fat.

Exercise was lame again today. I got a lot done around the house this morning, but I was later than usual getting to the office gym. However, I still went, which is good. I was tempted not to go at all. 30 minutes on the elliptical -- but at least I had the resistance higher than usual.

Edited to add: Also attended my penultimate Columbia WLS support group tonight. I will be sad to leave them - it is a great group. This was a particularly good meeting because it was very free-flowing, and we discussed a wide range of topics, from getting back on track after vacation, to plastic surgery, to how the LapBand works, etc. There were also some new (to me) faces and some old regular who hadn't been back for a few months. Two of the new faces were particularly exciting to see, one an RNYer about 6 years out who is maintaining great (with her hubby), and a Band patient who is in maintenance and teensy-tiny.

The Band maintainer was awesome; she had great energy and I loved meeting her. Yet, honestly, I was a tiny bit jealous of her. She is 5'5" and 125 pounds, and is trying to stay above that. In contrast, I am 5'7" and 170 or so pounds, and it's a battle for me to stay there, let alone get below that. I soothe myself with the realization that she started at around 240, while my highest weight was almost 100 pounds heavier than that. But I'm still a teensy bit envious. I want so badly to see what it's like to be truly "skinny."