If You Bite It, Write It - January 4, 2011

Today was support group day. It was kinda boring. But I did hear my roommates talking about weight loss surgery tonight. They think Jennifer Hudson had lapband (whatever). One roommate called gastric bypass "stomach stapling" and lapband "the clamp." It could have been worse; they weren't directly hating on it, but still now I am even less likely to tell them I had surgery. The therapist I recently met with suggested that I share that information with them, but I don't think I want to. ::Sigh::

Day 2 of 2011 kickoff liquid diet. It went well and felt a lot more normal today, even though it makes me sad that it seems some of my online RNY friends aren't very supportive of this effort.

• 1 cup unsweetened chocolate almond milk, 2 tsp. SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, 1T unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, 3 packets Truvia, 1 sleeve Nescafe decaf and several ice cubes (rich chocolate mocha shake - yum). Based on how craptastic I felt yesterday and because I decided to walk to work today, I decided to have a slightly carbier shake in the morning.
• 1 cup vanilla Soy Slender with 1 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein and 1 packet Truvia (unnecessary, this was already too sweet!)
• 1 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze with 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder
• About 3T half and half in Sbux Pike (boo! regular! but I was running late and didn't want to wait for them to brew decaf)
• 1 cup vanilla Soy Slender with 1 scoop Matrix strawberry cream protein powder and about 1.5T white chocolate pudding mix and ice
• Repeated AM protein mocha: 1 cup unsweetened chocolate Almond Breeze, heaping spoonful of SF/FF chocolate pudding mix, 1T unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 scoop Matrix chocolate, Splenda, Nescafe decaf, and ice.

Today's exercise was walking. I decided it would count because I walked fast and broke a sweat in the evening. I walked from home to work, from work to support group, and from support group home for a total of roughly 6.5 miles, large chunks of which were uphill.

What I Ate: October 19, 2010 - and New Vitamins!

As you may know, I am a big fan of Celebrate bariatric vitamins for my multivitamins and iron. (I prefer Bariatric Advantage's calcium options.) I recently tried some of Celebrate's new flavors: I tried the 60 mg iron + C in Berry, and the multivitamin in Pineapple-Strawberry.

I'm not sure the Pineapple-Strawberry is as good as my old standby, the Mandarin Orange, but it's tasty. I'll definitely be adding it to the rotation.

The Berry iron has a tad more iron flavor than my beloved 30 mg Grape chewables, but they are still tasty and have none of the truly horrendous aftertaste of the Bariatric Advantage iron chewables. It's not surprising that the 60 mg pills would have a stronger iron flavor than the 30 mg. Also, my ferritin was a little lower than preferred in my March labs, so I want to take larger iron doses. I'd been taking 2 grape irons, but that's costly. You can get twice the amount of iron in the Berry vitamins for the same price.

Enough vitamin talk. Here is today's food & exercise report:

• Chocolate-ginger protein frosty with 2 tsp. ground flaxseed: 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese, 1/2 scoop chocolate Matrix, 1.5 T Hershey's Special Dark cocoa powder, 2 tsp. ground flax, a few slivers of ginger, allspice, cinnamon, and 5-6 ice cubes
• A couple T half and half in Sbux decaf
• Too many pistachios and peanuts - probably 2 or 2.5 oz.
• A couple more T half and half in decaf coffee
• 3 oz. of my whole chicken salad, a tiny slice of the "Moist Apple Cake" with vanilla buttercream. I forgot to mention that I got the apple cake recipe from Bariatric Eating!
• The last of the caprese from Sunday - 4 bocconcini and 4 grape tomatoes
• Omelet made with 2 small eggs, 3 slices Hormel Natural Choice smoked turkey, 5 grape tomatoes, and 3 small mushrooms
• Yummy strawberry protein frosty
• Late night: 3-4 leftover banana chunks with the NSA chocolate ganache, leftover from Sunday :-(

Today's exercise was 50 minutes on the elliptical at the 14th & F Washington Sports Club. I detest that location. It's full of people that are even stodgier than the average DC set.

I listen to music when I work out, and occasionally I hum along with a bar or two. I'm way too out of breath to sing full voice, or to sing continuously. Most people are wearing their own headphones and are thus blissfully unaware that I'm not always completely silent when I exercise. But this morning, apparently a few haters complained about me to the WSC staff, and one of them came over and told me I was disturbing the other guests. I raised an eyebrow, rebuked Satan, and went right back to what I was doing. I don't complain to the management when the other guests disturb me by constantly passing gas et al., so they should just tolerate it when I let a few inadvertent words from a song pass through my lips. They can get over themselves. This would never happen at Columbia Heights or even the Gallery Place location.

Tonight was my second DC RNY support group meeting, and the first that was led by the bariatric psychologist. It was a good meeting, but I have never felt more C-R-A-Z-Y. I mentioned that I was getting adjusted to being in DC with a bunch of people who never knew me at 300 pounds, and that I didn't know how to react when my roommate gave me a few pieces of her old "fat" clothes (Size 12.) I also mentioned that I wanted to lose some more weight and/or have plastic surgery. The group members seemed aghast. I mean, I'm happy with where I am. But I really do want to shed the excess skin and feel more normal. And also, yeah, I'm a little sad that I'm the kind of person normal-sized people give their old fat clothes to. Maybe that's a little crazy in the grand scheme of things.

Update on the Last Half of August 2010

As you can tell, the blog went on hiatus for a couple weeks. I've learned a great deal during that time. If anyone's been concerned that I've "fallen off the wagon" in any way - don't. In fact, I weigh a little less today than I did 2 weeks ago.

Weight and Food Tracking
On the morning of August 15, my weight was 178.0. That was up a little more than 8 pounds from my lowest weight of 169.8. You see my food logs from that time - no, I wasn't doing anything that should have caused weight gain. I attribute it to hormones.

This morning, I was 176.7. This whole time, I've been between 176.0 and 178.0. So, the weight is holding steady, which is all I'm aiming for at this point (I need to write a separate post about the purgatory between loss phase and maintenance phase.) But anyway, no cause for alarm w/r/t the scale.

Apparently (at least right now when my routine and habits are relatively stable), I don't need to count every macronutrient every day in order to maintain my weight. As long as I keep track of what I'm eating and make sure the protein is high, the carbs are low, and the fat is reasonable, I can maintain my weight loss.

I'm going to try tracking every bite, but without all the nutritional analysis. This is basically what I did at the beginning of this blog; then I slowly started tracking other things. A few weeks after surgery, I realized my proteins were too low, so I started tracking calories and protein. It wasn't until October 21, 2009, over six months after surgery, that I started tracking carbs. On December 1, 2009, shortly after a particularly horrible gall bladder attack (I'm assuming that's what it was, since I never bothered to get the scan), I started tracking fat. I said I was only going to do it for the "next few weeks," but I wound up tracking fat for the next 9+ months.

I guess it all comes full circle. At least for right now, I'm not going to track macronutrients. I'm not worried about getting enough protein, as I continue to have 2-4 protein supplements a day in addition to eating high-protein, and relatively low-carb meals. BUT - if I notice repercussions on the scale, or if I start allowing more bad habits to creep in because of this change, I'll go back to a more detailed form of tracking.

Yoga
I hurt my wrist trying to do crane pose at Greenville Yoga (formerly known as North Main Yoga) on Saturday:

Yeah, mine didn't look like that so much.

-

I'm slowly preparing myself to say goodbye to my beloved City Yoga. I took my last Sunday morning class with the founder of the studio this past Sunday. The yogis and yoginis of City Yoga have apparently taught me well: When I was visiting Greenville Yoga this weekend, the teacher could tell from my practice that I normally study an alignment-focused style of yoga (Iyengar and Anusara are generally very alignment-focused.) It was awesome to feel like my asana practice is reflecting what I've learned from my teachers. I am thankful to the teachers at City Yoga, particularly Annie, Stacey, and Dara, for helping me build the foundations of my yoga practice.

Food
I broke my blender after just a few months of protein frosties. I went out immediately that day and bought a new one, the same make and model as the old one. Perhaps I should have gotten something sturdier and more expensive, but I've grown attached to this specific type of blender.

My biggest struggle over the past couple of weeks of not tracking has been - you guessed it - avoiding compulsive eating. This challenge has been exacerbated by the fact that I've been going to bed later than usual, sometimes even 2 AM on a weeknight (which has impacted my cardio exercise schedule.) I have eaten some things that people consider "bad" - I did a cupcake sampling with full sugar cupcakes from a local bakery, never eating all of any cupcake, but tasting 13 of them. I ate some sugar-free chocolates, chocolate Goldfish crackers, plantain chips, even a few pretzel M&Ms. With the exception of the Goldfish crackers, I was successfully able to eat a few bites and toss the rest. I'm less worried about my forays with sugar/carbs than I am about my ongoing propensity to overeat. For example, yesterday, I gorged myself with raw cashews. I also had a few plantain chips, less than 1/3 of a bag. I am not worried about the plantain chips, but my inability to stop eating past the point of fullness is frightening. I will continue to work on this, as I surely will be for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I've made some pretty awesome WLS-friendly dinners over the past couple of weeks. Here are some of the goodies I've been enjoying:

Support Group
Last Tuesday, August 24 was my last WLS support group meeting in this town. The group gave me an angel pin as a going away gift/good luck token. They typically give them to people at their last meeting before surgery, but because I didn't have surgery here, I didn't have one. It was so sweet of the group leader to make sure I got an angel emblem as I head off on my new journey; it really made me feel a full part of the group. I will miss these folks.

There is a group at GW Hospital in DC that meets with about the same regularity, so I hope to build a nice community there.

What I Ate: August 10, 2010

• Mint chocolate protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Nectar chocolate truffle protein powder (50 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1g carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese (80 kcals, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat), 1 tbsp. Hershey's unsweetened dark cocoa (15 kcals, 1g net carbs), Splenda, SF chocolate syrup. Total - (145 kcals, 26.5g protein, 7g carbs, 0g fat).
• 1/4 cup half and half split between 2 Starbucks decaf coffees (78 kcals, 1.8g protein, 2.6g net carbs, 7g fat). Sbux messed up my coffee this morning, giving me a cup of coffee with about 1/4 cup of coffee grounds in the bottom. Shameful! So I went back, got a free refill, got one of those free drink cards for disgruntled people, AND got a Sbux gift card sent to me because I contacted the regional manager. It was pretty awesome. Gotta love that Starbucks customer service. Because I'm neurotic, I took a photo of the extreme coffee grounds:

• 1 frosty chocolate Pure Protein shake in 4 decaf coffees (170 kcals, 35g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat).
• 1/2 cup whole milk in Sbux iced sugar-free vanilla quad espresso (76 kcals, 4g protein, 6g carbs, 4g fat).
• Vanilla bean cheesecake protein frosty: 1/2 scoop About Time birthday cake protein powder (52 kcals, 12.5g protein, 0g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese (80 kcals, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat), 1 T. SF/FF cheesecake pudding mix (15 kcals, 3g carbs), Splenda, vanilla extract. Total - (147 kcals, 27.5g protein, 8g carbs, 0g fat). This didn't turn out as yummy as I expected it to be. Oh well.
• Indian-spiced eggplant pancakes with sardine mousse: 2 oz. canned sardines packed in spring water (73 kcals, 13g protein, 0g carbs, 2g fat), 97 grams eggplant (24 kcals, 1g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 cup pasteurized egg whites -- 1/4 cup whipped to soft peaks, the other 1/4 cup used to make eggplant patties (60 kcals, 12g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 38 grams onion, some for mousse, some for pancakes (15 kcals, 0.4g protein, 2.9g net carbs, 0g fat), plus various seasonings - lemon juice, smoked paprika, garlic powder, thyme, garam masala, onion powder, curry powder (about 15 kcals, 2g net carbs). Total - (187 kcals, 26.4g protein, 9.9g net carbs, 2g fat). This was crazy! I want to find a way to make the mousse fluffier, but other than that, it was shockingly yummy.
• Another mint chocolate protein frosty: 1/2 scoop Matrix perfect chocolate protein powder (60 kcals, 11.5g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 1g fat), 1/2 cup fat-free cottage cheese (80 kcals, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat), 1 tbsp. Hershey's unsweetened Special Dark cocoa (15 kcals, 1g net carbs), DaVinci SF peppermint syrup. Total - (155 kcals, 26.5g protein, 7.5g carbs, 1g fat).

Total:
958 calories
147.7g protein
61.7% kcals from protein
44g net carbs
18.4% kcals from net carbs
15g fat (don't seem to get much fat in without nuts.)
14.1% kcals from fat.

Exercise was lame again today. I got a lot done around the house this morning, but I was later than usual getting to the office gym. However, I still went, which is good. I was tempted not to go at all. 30 minutes on the elliptical -- but at least I had the resistance higher than usual.

Edited to add: Also attended my penultimate Columbia WLS support group tonight. I will be sad to leave them - it is a great group. This was a particularly good meeting because it was very free-flowing, and we discussed a wide range of topics, from getting back on track after vacation, to plastic surgery, to how the LapBand works, etc. There were also some new (to me) faces and some old regular who hadn't been back for a few months. Two of the new faces were particularly exciting to see, one an RNYer about 6 years out who is maintaining great (with her hubby), and a Band patient who is in maintenance and teensy-tiny.

The Band maintainer was awesome; she had great energy and I loved meeting her. Yet, honestly, I was a tiny bit jealous of her. She is 5'5" and 125 pounds, and is trying to stay above that. In contrast, I am 5'7" and 170 or so pounds, and it's a battle for me to stay there, let alone get below that. I soothe myself with the realization that she started at around 240, while my highest weight was almost 100 pounds heavier than that. But I'm still a teensy bit envious. I want so badly to see what it's like to be truly "skinny."