What I Ate: 12/25/2009

• 10 pecan halves (100 kcals, 1g protein, 0.8g net carbs, 10g fat)
• Tuna and okra omelet: 1 packet albacore tuna (90 kcals, 18g protein, 0g net carbs, 2g fat), 1/4 cup egg substitute (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat), 4 okra pods (15 kcals, 1g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat), 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) - Total (160 kcals, 29g protein, 5g net carbs, 2g fat)
• 1/3 cup winter fruit salad
• 2 tbsp. fat-free half and half in 2 Starbucks decaf VIAs (20 kcals, 2g net carb)
• 1/2 Believe Italian Cappucino in Starbucks decaf VIA (60 kcals, 10g protein, 2.5g net carbs, 0g fat) with 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip
• Cookies & cream cheesecake protein: 1 sample of Matrix cookies & cream protein (65 kcals, 12g protein, 2g net carbs, 1g fat) in 1/3 cup Fage nonfat Greek yogurt (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat) with sugar-free dulce de leche and sugar-free cookie dough syrups, and 1 tbsp. sugar-free/fat-free Jello cheesecake pudding (15 kcals, 4g net carbs) Total (120 kcals, 18.6g protein, 9g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 1 cup curried chicken salad
• 1/2 cup winter fruit salad
• Cookies & cream cheesecake protein again, with Free Cool Whip this time (135 kcals, 18.6g protein, 12g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 1 cup winter fruit salad
• 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 3g net carbs)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)

This was a VERY carby day due to the fruit salad and whipped cream. Posting this now (finally) for accountability, but I'll have to figure the approximate totals later.

What I Ate: 12/24/2009

• French toast and bacon: 1 pumpkin flaxseed microwave muffin - 1/4 cup ground flaxseed (120 kcals, 6g protein, 0g net carbs, 8g fat), 1/4 cup egg substitute (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat), 2 tbsp. canned pumpkin (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat), 1 tsp. baking powder, and various sugar-free syrups and spices (about 5 kcals); 2 tbsp. Mrs. Butterworth's sugar-free pancake syrup (10 kcals, 2g net carbs); a sprinkle of Nature Sweet brown and powdered (10 kcals, 1g net carbs); with 1 slice Jennie-O extra lean turkey bacon (20 kcals, 3g protein, 0g carbs, 0.5g fat) - Total (195 kcals, 15.5g protein, 5g net carbs, 8.5g fat)
• Believe Italian Cappucino, spread out over several hours, used as creamer in coffee from Starbucks and from "E-City Java" (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1/2 cup curried chicken and cauliflower salad, leftover from Tuesday's luncheon (guessing 120 kcals, 10g protein, 10g net carbs, 3g fat)
• Protein eggnog: 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! protein drink and a healthy glug of DaVinci sugar-free Eggnog syrup over ice. (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat) with 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carbs)
• 1/2 cup winter fruit salad, leftover from Tuesday's luncheon (guessing 60 kcals, 2g protein, 7g net carbs, 3g fat)
• Cookies & cream cheesecake protein: 1 sample of Matrix cookies & cream protein (65 kcals, 12g protein, 2g net carbs, 1g fat) in 1/3 cup Fage nonfat Greek yogurt (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat) with sugar-free dulce de leche and sugar-free cookie dough syrups, 1 tbsp. sugar-free/fat-free Jello cheesecake pudding (15 kcals, 4g net carbs), and 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb). Total (135 kcals, 18.6g protein, 12g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 1 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenge (4 kcals, 1g net carbs)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (15 kcals, 4g net carbs)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)

Total:
849 kcals
82.1g protein
38.7% kcals from protein - TERRIBLE!
62g net carbs
29.2% kcals from net carbs
20.5g fat
21.7% kcals from fat.

When I was about to make my protein Fage I realized that I went and left ALL of the baggies of various protein powders and my vitamins in Columbia!!!! Argh; I'm so, so mad. I made up about 30 baggies of all kinds of protein powders and left them, along with my Snuggie and the bag of goodies I'd packed for my sister. Hmph. At least I have my Oh Yeah!s, Believe, a few samples of the Matrix cookies & cream, packets of the Pure unflavored protein, and an array of sugar-free syrups. I should definitely be able to make it through tomorrow, even if I don't have my favorite protein options.

What I Ate: 12/23/2009

• "Pig in a blanket": 1/3 tomato-herb flaxseed microwave muffin (53 kcals, 4g protein, 1g net carb, 3g fat) and 1 98% fat free turkey hot dog (40 kcals, 5g protein, 3g net carbs, o.5g fat) - Total (93 kcals, 9g protein, 4g net carbs, 3.5g fat)
• Thin mint shake: 1 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) with 1 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa (10 kcals, 0g protein, 1g net carb, 0.5g fat), mixed into about 2.5 oz. water and DaVinci sugar-free peppermint and Torani sugar-free chocolate syrups over ice. - Total (136 kcals, 30g protein, 3g net carbs, 0.5g fat). This is the best this shake has turned out so far. Reducing the amount of water makes the shake taste much richer. Also, I only added a couple drops of peppermint syrup this time - last time, I added more and the shake took on a sort of mouthwash flavor. I think the only slight improvement would come from adding some sugar-free vanilla syrup or just vanilla flavoring. Will continue to tweak . . .
• Choconana protein shake: This is very simple! 1/2 bananas & cream Oh Yeah! and 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah!, sugar-free Torani chocolate syrup, and 1 tsp. unsweetened Hershey's cocoa. Easy and way yummy! :-) (about 130 kcals, 17g protein, 3g net carbs, 5g fat)
• 8 peeled and braised stalks of asparagus (30 kcals, 2.8g protein, 2.4g net carbs, 0.5g fat) with rollups made of 4 slices Hormel Natural Choice roast beef (60 kcals, 11g protein, 0g carbs, 2g fat), 1/4 cup fat free ricotta (45 kcals, 6g protein, 4g net carbs, 0g fat), and seasonings (10 kcals, 1g net carbs) and 1 98% fat free turkey hot dog (40 kcals, 5g protein, 3g net carbs, o.5g fat) - Total (185 kcals, 24.8g protein, 10.4g net carbs, 3g fat)
• About 2 tbsp. cup skim milk in 1 grande Starbucks decaf coffee (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat) with 1 scoop Inspire ice cream sandwich protein (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 1 tbsp. sugar-free/fat-free Jello cheesecake pudding (15 kcals, 4g net carbs), and sugar-free dulce de leche and cookie dough syrups. - Total (181 kcals, 36.6g protein, 9g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (15 kcals, 4g net carbs)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)

Total:
837 kcals
118.4g protein
56.6% kcals from protein
51.9g net carbs
24.8% kcals from net carbs
13.5g fat
14.5% kcals from fat.

What I Ate: 12/22/2009

• "Pig in a blanket": 1/3 tomato-herb flaxseed microwave muffin (53 kcals, 4g protein, 1g net carb, 3g fat) and 1 98% fat free turkey hot dog (40 kcals, 5g protein, 3g net carbs, o.5g fat) - Total (93 kcals, 9g protein, 4g net carbs, 3.5g fat)
• Protein eggnog: 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! protein drink and a healthy glug of DaVinci sugar-free Eggnog syrup over ice. (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat) and a few tbsp. of the curried chicken salad and fruit salad (guessing 100 kcals, 10g protein, 5g net carbs, 4g fat)
• Another protein eggnog! (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat)
• More chicken salad and fruit salad (guessing 150 kcals, 10g protein, 10g net carbs, 7g fat)
• About 1/4 cup skim milk in 2 grande Starbucks decaf coffees (20 kcals, 2g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat) with 1 scoop Inspire ice cream sandwich protein (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g carbs, 0g fat), 1 tbsp. sugar-free/fat-free Jello cheesecake pudding (15 kcals, 4g net carbs), and sugar-free dulce de leche and cookie dough syrups. Yum yum! - Total (181 kcals, 36.6g protein, 9g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (8 kcals, 2g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (15 kcals, 4g net carbs)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)

Total (even rougher approximations than usual):
862 kcals
99.6g protein
46.2% kcals from protein
53.5g net carbs
24.8% kcals from net carbs
25g fat
26.1% kcals from fat

Well, I found out what happened to the gym. Apparently there was some flooding last Friday when we had bad weather and it impacted the gym in some way. The health people closed it down and put up a sign that said "Out of Order," but I guess because it was unclear WHY and HOW it was out of order, people used it anyway. The health people sent out a sharply worded email today letting everyone know not to use the gym until some future date (argh.) So I guess I'll be relying on Leslie Sansone for a while.

What I Ate: 12/21/2009

• Thin mint shake: 1 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) mixed with 4 oz. water, over ice with 1 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa (10 kcals, 0g protein, 1g net carb, 0.5g fat) and DaVinci sugar-free peppermint and Torani sugar-free chocolate syrups. - Total (136 kcals, 30g protein, 3g net carbs, 0.5g fat).
• "Pig in a blanket": 1/3 tomato-herb flaxseed microwave muffin (53 kcals, 4g protein, 1g net carb, 3g fat) and 1 98% fat free turkey hot dog (40 kcals, 5g protein, 3g net carbs, o.5g fat) - Total (93 kcals, 9g protein, 4g net carbs, 3.5g fat)
• 8 stalks braised asparagus (30 kcals, 2.8g protein, 2.4g net carbs, 0.5g fat) wrapped in Hormel low-nitrate smoked ham slices (60 kcals, 10g protein, 1g net carb, 1.5g fat) with 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) - Total (115 kcals, 16.8g protein, 5.4g net carbs, 2g fat)
• Believe Italian Cappucino protein drink (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat) and 4 pecan halves (40 kcals, 0.4g protein, 0.3g net carbs, 4g fat)
• Chocolate gingerbread Fage: 1 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) in 1/3 cup Fage nonfat Greek yogurt (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat) with sugar-free gingerbread syrup - Total (166 kcals, 36.6g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• Various samples of the food I cooked for the dinner party we're having at work tomorrow - curried chicken cauliflower salad and fruit salad. I have no idea the nutritional stats on this, but I know it was generally WLS-friendly. I used nonfat Fage to replace mayo in the chicken salad. The flavors in this food are bangin'! The chicken salad has chicken breast (obvi), cauliflower, onion, fennel fronds, caramelized fennel, raw fennel, golden raisins, blackcurrants, garlic, garam masala, curry powder, Splenda, cumin, coriander, mace, paprika, Worcestershire sauce, apple cider vinegar, lots of nonfat Fage yogurt and - some other stuff. It was 3 AM when I finished making it; I'm not sure what's in it exactly! The fruit salad's contents are even more ambiguous, but I know it has cherries, blueberries, golden raspberries, apples, persimmons, apricots, dried mission figs, golden raisins, blackcurrants, kumquat zest, fresh ginger, a few pomegranate seeds, and unsweetened coconut in a sauce made with cherry juice, tangerine juice, yuzu juice, tamarind paste, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, mace, Splenda, vanilla flavoring, maple flavoring, DaVinci butter rum syrup, brown Nature Sweet, and whatever else I had laying around the kitchen that seemed to be a good idea at the time. If I could do it over, I would axe the fresh apricots and use dried. I probably would have also bought orange segments to add to the salad. The biggest thing is that I would have added the golden raspberries last - by the time I mixed everything together, they had basically become part of the sauce. I should have known better. Let's hope my boss and co-workers enjoy the food . . .
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
• 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins, 1 in orange and 1 in NEW grape (13 kcals, 3g net carbs)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)

Total:
Not sure, but around 900 kcals
At least 112.4g protein
At least 43.2g net carbs (but probably a lot more because it took me a while to get the fruit salad right; I had to keep tasting it)
At least 11.5g fat.

I got up early and dragged out of the bed, leaving enough time for an hour-long cardio workout. I got to my office (where I usually work out) and the security gate is broken. Someone let me in another gate, but when I got to the gym entrance, the door was broken (???) So I just come to my office, change here into my regular clothes, and call it quits on the morning workout effort. I was so proud of myself for getting myself back in gear on the exercise front, but to no avail. I had to go to the grocery store after work and cooked until 3 AM, so there was no time to exercise after work.

What I Ate: 12/20/2009

• About 2.5 oz. rotisserie chicken breast (110 kcals, 17g protein, 1g net carbs, 4g fat)
• Protein eggnog: 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! protein drink and a healthy glug of DaVinci sugar-free Eggnog syrup over ice with 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip and a sprinkle of cinnamon and nutmeg. (125 kcals, 16g protein, 4.5g carbs, 4.5g fat)
• 2 Oscar Meyer 98% fat-free turkey hot dogs (80 kcals, 10g protein, 6g net carbs, 1g fat) and 1/4 cup brussel sprouts with turkey bacon and onion (40 kcals, 2g protein, 3g net carbs, 2g fat)
• 10 roasted and salted pistachios (40 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 3g fat)
• Thin Mint shake: 1 scoop Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) mixed with 4 oz. water, over ice with 1 tsp. unsweetened cocoa (3 kcals), 1 tsp. sugar-free/fat-free chocolate fudge pudding mix (5 kcals), and a splash of DaVinci sugar-free peppermint and Torani sugar-free chocolate syrups. Total (134 kcals, 30g protein, 4.5g net carbs, 0g fat). This could stand some tweaking, but it was yummy.
• 4 stalks asparagus (15 kcals, 1.4g protein, 1.2g net carbs, 0g fat) wrapped in 4 slices Hormel Natural Choice roast beef (60 kcals, 11g protein, 0g carbs, 2g fat) and stuffed with 2 tbsp. fat-free Sorrento ricotta (25 kcals, 3g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat), 1 tbsp. crushed tomatoes (5 kcals, 1g carb), and 1 packet of Splenda (3 kcals) with oregano, cayenne, and garlic powder (maybe 5 kcals, 1g carb). Random combo, but shockingly extremely tasty!
• 1 scoop Inspire caramel latte (110 kcals, 30g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat) in 4 oz. Oikos nonfat Greek yogurt (70 kcals, 12g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat) with sugar-free gingerbread syrup and topped with 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb). Between this and the eggnog protein, it really tastes like the holiday season! - Total (195 kcals, 42g protein, 9g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
• 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (23 kcals, 6g net carbs)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)

Total:
942 kcals
133.4g protein
56.6% kcals from protein
55.7g net carbs (oops, a little high)
23.7% kcals from net carbs
18g fat
17.2% kcals from fat.

What I Ate: 12/19/2009

• 1 scoop Inspire caramel latte (110 kcals, 30g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat) in 4 oz. Oikos nonfat Greek yogurt (70 kcals, 12g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat) with sugar-free dulce de leche and sugar-free gingerbread syrup. - Total (180 kcals, 42g protein, 6g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 slices Hormel Natural turkey slices (50 kcals, 10g protein, 1g net carbs, 1g fat) and 1 wedge Laughing Cow light Swiss (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat)
• 1 Believe Italian Cappucino protein drink (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 12 pistachios (48 kcals, 1.2g protein, 1.2g net carbs, 3.6g fat) and 2 98% fat-free hot dogs (80 kcals, 10g protein, 6g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 1/2 cup brussel sprouts, turkey bacon, and onions (80 kcals, 4g protein, 6g net carbs, 4g fat) and 1.5 tbsp. baby lima beans - my mom cooked them in olive oil, so I'm really not 100% sure on these stats (about 50 kcals, 4g net carbs, 1.5g protein, 4g fat)
• Protein eggnog: 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! protein drink and a healthy glug of DaVinci sugar-free Eggnog syrup over ice. This time, I topped it with about 3 tbsp. Free Cool Whip and a sprinkle of cinnamon and nutmeg. YUM. (132 kcals, 16g protein, 6g carbs, 4.5g fat)
• 4 pecan halves (40 kcals, 0.4g protein, 0.3g net carbs, 4g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
• 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (15 kcals, 4g net carbs)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)

Total:
912 kcals
107.2g protein
47.0% kcals from protein
57g net carbs
25.0% kcals from net carbs
25.6g fat
25.3% kcals from fat

What I Ate: 12/18/2009

I sampled more of my new flavors proteins and sugar-free syrups today. Fun!

• Protein eggnog: Just 1/2 vanilla creme Oh Yeah! protein drink and a healthy glug of DaVinci sugar-free Eggnog syrup over ice. Deeeelicious! Would have been even better with some Free Cool Whip and a sprinkle of cinnamon and nutmeg over the top, but it was delicious this way too. Maybe I'll have something eggnog-flavored every day until the new year! That's the only way I'm gonna get through this syrup while the flavor's still in season. (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat)
• 4 slices Hormel Natural Choice (no added nitrate) smoked ham (60 kcals, 10g protein, 1g net carb, 1.5g fat) wrapped around 5 stalks of white asparagus (25 kcals, 2g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat). Total - (85 kcals, 12g protein, 3g net carbs, 1.5g fat). Dang, this was good y'all. Really good.
• 1/2 of a triple chocolate Powercrunch bar - free sample from Bariatric Eating. I don't get into the protein bar thing too much, at least not yet, because they tend to have so many calories and fat/carbs. This was quite tasty, but with that fat content I consider this a "fat bar," not a "protein bar"! (105 kcals, 6.5g protein, 4.5g net carbs, 6.5g fat).
• Protein eggnog again (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g carbs, 4.5g fat) and 4 pecan halves (40 kcals, 0.4g protein, 0.3g net carbs, 4g fat)
• Believe Chai Tea (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 tbsp. skim milk in Starbucks decaf with sugar-free Irish cream syrup - I bring my own syrups to Sbux (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 scoop Inspire caramel latte (110 kcals, 30g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat) in 4 oz. Oikos nonfat Greek yogurt (70 kcals, 12g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat) with sugar-free gingerbread syrup and topped with 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb). Between this and the eggnog protein, it really tastes like the holiday season! - Total (195 kcals, 42g protein, 9g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 slices Hormel Natural turkey slices (50 kcals, 10g protein, 1g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 4 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (16 kcals, 4g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (15 kcals, 4g net carbs)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Bariatric Advantage chocolate calcium citrate chewy bite (15 kcals, 3g carbs).

Total:
906 kcals
123.9g protein
54.7% kcals from protein
44.8g net carbs
19.8% kcals from net carbs
22g fat (made up for yesterday a bit . . .)
21.9% kcals from fat

I dragged myself out of bed this morning - an hour later than intended - but still with enough time to exercise. I went an hour on the elliptical for an alleged distance of 4.4 miles and an alleged calorie-burn of a little over 600 calories. It was a tough workout for me; my body had a hard time waking up. But I'm glad I did it. :-)

So I'm Reconsidering this Daily Weigh-In Idea . . .

I didn't weigh myself this morning. I'm not sure hopping on the scale every day is a good idea for me right now.

I wanted to pick up this habit because several studies indicate that formerly fat people maintain weight loss most effectively when they weigh in on a daily basis - see here, here, and here, for example. I'm convinced that a central reason I regained most of the weight I'd lost between 2002 and 2005, going from 209 in August 2005 back up to 307 in October 2008, is that I stopped using the scale to keep myself accountable.

Even so, I find it discouraging and distressing to be following the rules but gaining weight, even if in the back of my mind I know the gain has to be water retention. A few days ago when the upward pattern was becoming apparent, I even started doing research into revision surgeries. (If I fail my RNY, I'm getting duodenal switch, btw. Hopefully I'll be established enough by then to be able to afford the revision without insurance coverage.) But really - why am I already making a contingency plan?

Weighing daily hasn't had a positive effect on my mindset in the past, and it seems that hasn't changed yet. I do plan to weigh tomorrow morning though.

What I Ate: 12/17/2009

• 2 Bariatric Advantage chocolate calcium citrate chewy bites (30 kcals, 6g carbs). This was a mini-binge brought on by morning distress. :-( Yeah, yeah, yeah - 30 calories' worth of vitamins isn't a "binge." It wasn't part of my daily plan though.
• Believe Italian Cappucino (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Boca patty (70 kcals, 13g protein, 2g net carb, 0.5g fat) with 1 strip Jennie-O lean turkey bacon (20 kcals, 3g protein, 0g carbs, 0.5g fat) and 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) - Total (115 kcals, 20g protein, 4g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 3 slices Hormel Natural turkey slices (50 kcals, 10g protein, 1g net carbs, 1g fat) and 1 mini Babybel cheese round (50 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carbs, 3g fat)
• Inspire caramel latte protein powder in iced Starbucks decaf Via with sugar-free chocolate and sugar-free gingerbread syrup - it was my first time having this protein. The taste was extremely delicious, but I had the same problem that usually occurs when I try to mix Inspire proteins the way I mix all other proteins: big, gummy lumps. For some reason, Inspire blends a lot more smoothly into Greek yogurt for me. All of the flavor factors were bangin', though. I definitely want to try this warm, maybe in some unsweetened almond milk! (115 kcals, 30g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat)
• 3 slices Jennie-O lean turkey bacon (60 kcals, 9g protein, 0g carbs, 1.5g fat) stuffed with 2 stalks of white asparagus each (25 kcals, 2g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) and 1/4 cup Sorrento fat-free ricotta mixed with thyme, oregano, and garlic (45 kcals, 6g protein, 4g net carbs, 0g fat) and topped with 2 tbsp. crushed tomato sauce (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) - Total (140 kcals, 17.5g protein, 8g net carbs, 1.5g fat) - messy, but yummy!
• New Inspire dutch chocolate cake protein powder (126 kcals, 30g protein, 2g net carbs, 0g fat) in 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat) with a splash of DaVinci sugar-free butter rum syrup and topped with 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb) - Total (181 kcals, 36.6g protein, 8g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (8 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (15 kcals, 4g net carbs)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)

Total:
859 kcals
140.1g protein (omg)
65.2% kcals from protein (yay)
46.5g net carbs
21.7% kcals from net carbs
6.5g fat (wow, extra-low. That's good!)
6.8% kcals from fat

I had issues getting out of the house this morning because, even though I woke up early, I lost my keytag to get into my workplace and spent over an hour looking for it. Thus, I worked out after work - 45 minute on the elliptical, allegedly burning a little over 475 calories and going about 3.3 miles.

Weight this morning: 199.7 (Yes, it CONTINUES to inexplicably move in the wrong direction. This is almost 5 pounds from my lowest weight and I have absolutely no idea why.)

What I Ate: 12/16/2009

• Turkey and cheese on a tomato-herb flaxseed muffin: 2 slices of Hormel Natural deli turkey (34 kcals, 6.6g protein, 1g net carbs, 0.5g fat) and 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) on 1/3 tomato-herb flaxseed microwave muffin (53 kcals, 4g protein, 1g net carb, 3g fat). Total (112 kcals, 14.6g protein, 4g net carb, 3.5g fat).
• Believe Italian Cappucino (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 oz. shrimp (90 kcals, 17g protein, 1g carbs, 1g fat) cooked in Old Bay, garlic, and cayenne and 1 mini Babybel Light cheese round (50 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carbs, 3g fat)
• 1 scoop Isopure dutch chocolate with iced decaf (the new Starbucks decaf VIA!), SF vanilla and chocolate syrup, and Sweet and Low (112 kcals, 25g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat) and 4 pecan halves (40 kcals, 0.4g protein, 0.3g net carbs, 4g fat)
• 2 tbsp. skim milk in Starbucks coffee (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• Boca patty (70 kcals, 13g protein, 2g net carb, 0.5g fat) with 2 tbsp. crushed tomatoes seasoned with garlic and oregano (10 kcals, 0.5g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) and 1/4 cup fat-free shredded mozzarella (45 kcals, 9g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) - like a pizza burger!
• 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1 scoop Inspire chocolate peanut butter fudge protein powder (127 kcals, 26g protein, 3g net carbs, 1g fat), sugar-free caramel syrup, and 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb) - Total (182 kcals, 32.2g protein, 9g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 4 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (16 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins in NEW grape! (15 kcals, 4g net carbs)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)

Total:
942 kcals
138.7g protein
58.9% kcals from protein
47.8g net carbs
20.3% kcals from net carbs
15.5g fat
14.8% kcals from fat

I'm trying some different things to jumpstart my weight loss - mainly going back to the sixth meal that I added last week during a time when I was feeling more munchy and adding more calories. I'm also moving toward varying my workouts a bit more.

This morning, I did the Leslie Sansone 30-minute walk and afterward, some calf raises, squats, and lunges. I know I need to mix things up, but I'm not sure how. I'm looking forward to retrieving my Walk/Kick and 5-Mile Walk dvds this weekend from my mom's house!

Weight this morning: 198.6 (and dude - last night I was getting numbers over 200 again! Really, WTF?)
Distance from next mini-goal: 10.6
Distance from ultimate goal: 44.6

What I Ate: 12/15/2009

• Egg and cheese on a flaxseed muffin: 1 hard-boiled egg (70 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carb, 4.5g fat) and 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) on 1/3 tomato-herb flaxseed microwave muffin (53 kcals, 4g protein, 1g net carb, 3g fat). Total (148 kcals, 14g protein, 3g net carb, 7.5g fat).
• 1 Believe Italian Cappucino protein drink (120 kcals, 20g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Chik-fil-A chargrilled chicken filet (106 kcals, 21g protein, 2g carb, 1.5g fat)
• Another shrimp/egg/nori creation: This time, I kept the shrimp separate from the nori and just rolled the egg in the nori and sliced it like little sushi rolls. Also, no salad this time - it was overly filling yesterday. 9 shrimp (60 kcals, 15g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat), 1 sheet of nori (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carb, 0g fat), 1/4 cup Publix EggStirs with soy sauce and sweetening syrup mixed in to mimic the egg they use to make tamago sushi (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat) and a little dressing made with soy sauce, sweetening syrup, natural rice vinegar, powdered ginger, and a teensy bit of yuzu juice (5 kcals, 1g net carbs). Total (105 kcals, 22g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 tbsp. skim milk in Starbucks coffee with Splenda and Sweet and Low (about 20 kcals, 1g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• Vanilla nut cheesecake protein Fage: 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1 scoop Elite Gourmet Vanilla protein powder (114 kcals, 24g protein, 2g net carbs, 1.5g fat), 1 tbsp. sugar-free/fat-free cheesecake Jello pudding mix (15 kcals, 4g net carbs), sugar-free hazelnut syrup, and 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb) - Total (174 kcals, 30.6g protein, 12g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
• 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate multivitamins - one in orange and one in NEW grape! (13 kcals, 3g net carbs)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Calcet calcium citrate lemon creamy bite (40 kcals, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
• 1 Bariatric Advantage chocolate calcium chewy bite (15 kcals, 3g net carbs)
• 1 Laughing Cow light Swiss wedge (35 kcals, 2.5g protein, 1g carb, 2g fat)

Total:
823 kcals
111.1g protein
54.0% kcals from protein
52.5g net carbs
25.5% kcals from net carbs
14g fat
15.3% kcals from fat

I dragged myself out of bed this morning and got to the gym for a 50+-minute elliptical ride. I used a lot of resistance and supposedly went a little over 3.7 miles and allegedly burned about 515 calories. I also did my Ana Caban beginner pilates dvd tonight.

Weight this morning: 198.9 (WTF? This better be water weight gain)
Distance from next mini-goal: 10.9
Distance from ultimate goal: 44.9

My Favorite Poem: If We Must Die

This has nothing to do with weight loss surgery (at least not in any way I can think of.) Anyway, after sharing "Invictus," I also wanted to share my favorite poem, Harlem Renaissance poet Claude McKay's "If We Must Die":

If we must die, let it not be like hogs
Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot,
While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,
Making their mock at our accursed lot.
If we must die, O let us nobly die,
So that our precious blood may not be shed
In vain; then even the monsters we defy
Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!
O kinsmen! We must meet the common foe!
Though far outnumbered let us show us brave,
And for their thousand blows deal one deathblow!
What though before us lies the open grave?
Like men we'll face the murderous, cowardly pack,
Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!

I love this poem's cadence and its message of triumph under desperate circumstances, specifically lynching in this case. It has a slightly androcentric feel ("Like men we'll face the murderous, cowardly pack"), but it's such a great poem that I try to overlook that :-)

The ideals set forth in "If We Must Die" are different from those in "Invictus." "Invictus" idealizes stoicism, while "If We Must Die" advocates vigorous self-defense. One could imagine the protagonist of "Invictus" standing still and enduring the "thousand blows" with dignity, with head unbowed, but not necessarily retaliating. The protagonist of "If We Must Die," however, "deal[s] one deathblow" and "fight[s] back."

What's the preferred life philosophy, if any? I'm not sure.

What I Ate: 12/14/2009

• Egg and cheese on a flaxseed muffin: 1 hard-boiled egg (70 kcals, 6g protein, 0g carb, 4.5g fat) and 1 slice Kraft fat-free Swiss (25 kcals, 4g protein, 2g carb, 0g fat) on 1/3 tomato-herb flaxseed microwave muffin (53 kcals, 4g protein, 1g net carb, 3g fat). Total (148 kcals, 14g protein, 3g net carb, 7.5g fat). I divided a DELICIOUS tomato-herb flaxseed muffin into six slices to make breakfast sandwiches for three days of this week. I usually make pumpkin muffins, but instead of using 1 tbsp. pumpkin I used 1 tbsp. crushed tomatoes and added dried thyme and oregano to the mix. Mmm . . . yummy WLS-friendly tomato "bread"! :-)
• 1 scoop Isopure dutch chocolate with iced decaf (the new Starbucks decaf VIA!), SF chocolate and hazelnut syrup, Truvia, and 1 tsp. Hershey's unsweetened cocoa (121 kcals, 25g protein, 6g net carbs, 1g fat)
• 1/2 cup brussel sprouts (30 kcals, 2g protein, 4g net carbs, 0g fat) with 2 tbsp. chopped onion (10 kcals, 2g net carbs), 3 strips Jennie-O extra lean turkey bacon (60 kcals, 9g protein, 0g carbs, 1.5g fat), and Worcestershire sauce, a little DaVinci sweetening syrup, and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice - Total (105 kcals, 11g protein, 6g net carbs, 1.5g fat)
• Another nori/shrimp creation - this time I just tried deconstructing it. I think it went well even though I was in a hurry and wound up eating it too fast: 9 shrimp (60 kcals, 15g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat), 1 sheet of nori, ripped into pieces (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carb, 0g fat), 1/4 cup Publix EggStirs with soy sauce and sweetening syrup mixed in to mimic the egg they use to make tamago sushi (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat), 1/2 cup green lettuce (10 kcals, 2g net carbs) and a little dressing made with soy sauce, sweetening syrup, natural rice vinegar, powdered ginger, and a teensy bit of yuzu juice (5 kcals, 1g net carbs). Total (115 kcals, 22g protein, 5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• A couple bites of black bean/corn salad that I made for a lunch gathering at work tomorrow. I just tasted a bite to make sure the flavor was right. (about 15 kcals, 2g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 tbsp. skim milk in my decaf americano at Starbucks (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• Protein Fage again. 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/2 scoop Elite Gourmet Vanilla protein powder (57 kcals, 12g protein, 1g net carbs, 1g fat), 1 sample pack of Matrix cookies and cream protein (65 kcals, 12g protein, 2g net carbs, 1g fat), sugar-free cookie dough and hazelnut syrup, and 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb) Total - (177 kcals, 30.6g protein, 9g net carbs, 2g fat)
• 3 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (12 kcals, 3g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 2 Celebrate orange multivitamins (10 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)

Total:
748 kcals
103.6g protein
55.4% kcals from protein
45g net carbs
24.1% kcals from net carbs
12g fat
14.4% kcals from fat.

Weight this morning: 197.1
Distance from next mini-goal: 9.1
Distance from goal: 43.1

(I'm adding a feature where I report on my weight daily. Now that I've gotten below 200, I'm noticing some motivation problems and I'm hoping that being really watchful about my weight for a while will help.)

What I Ate: 12/13/2009

• Pork omelet: 1/4 cup Publix EggStirs (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat) stuffed with 2.5 oz. pork tenderloin (125 kcals, 21g protein, 3.7g fat), shredded and a little chopped onion (15 kcals, 3g net carb) Total (170 kcals, 27g protein, 4g net carb, 3.7g fat)
• Tried a different kind of banana pudding shake: 4 oz. vanilla creme Oh Yeah! with 3 oz. bananas & cream Oh Yeah! (110 kcals, 16g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 4.5g fat), with 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), SF vanilla and cookie dough syrups, and 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb) Total: (165 kcals, 22.6g protein, 7.5g net carb, 4.5g fat)
• 2 tbsp. skim milk in my coffee at Starbucks (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• Experimented with the nori again, but with a twist - I added egg substitute for more protein, almost like replacing the sushi rice with egg, reminiscent of tamago sushi. 9 medium shrimp cooked with garlic and ginger, chopped (60 kcals, 15g protein, 0g carbs, 0g fat), a few pieces of green lettuce (5 kcals, 0.5g protein, 0.5g net carbs, 0g fat), and 1/4 cup Publix EggStirs (30 kcals, 6g protein, 1g carb, 0g fat) dressed with a combination of soy sauce, tamarind concentrate, mustard, natural rice vinegar, and DaVinci sweetening syrup(10 kcals, 1g net carbs) all wrapped in 1 sheet of nori (10 kcals, 1g protein, 1g net carb, 0g fat). Total (115 kcals, 22.5g protein, 3.5g net carbs, 0g fat)
• Pumpkin protein mousse. 1/3 cup Fage (40 kcals, 6.6g protein, 3g net carbs, 0g fat), 1/4 cup canned pumpkin (20 kcals, 1g protein, 2g net carbs, 0.3g fat), 1 scoop Elite Gourmet Vanilla protein powder (114 kcals, 24g protein, 2g net carbs, 1.5g fat), and maple flavoring, cinnamon, ginger, sugar-free vanilla and cookie dough syrups, 1 tbsp. sugar-free/fat-free cheesecake Jello pudding mix (15 kcals, 4g net carbs) and 2 tbsp. Free Cool Whip (15 kcals, 3g net carb) Total - (204 kcals, 31.6g protein, 14g net carbs (!), 1.8g fat)
• 2 Bariatric Advantage calcium lozenges (8 kcals, 2g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Celebrate orange multivitamin (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Celebrate grape iron + c (5 kcals, 1g net carbs, 0g fat)
• 1 Bariatric Advantage chocolate calcium chewy bite (15 kcals, 3g net carbs)
• 3 pouches of sugar-free drink mix (30 kcals, 7.5g net carbs, 0g fat)

Total:
727 kcals
104.7g protein
57.6% kcals from protein
45g net carbs
24.8% kcals from net carbs
10g fat
12.4% kcals from fat

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical at work today. I had a phone interview this morning and decided to do it at the office for a reliable connection. I worked out after I left the office, even though it was still a huge struggle to find the de